We're here. We're busy. Life is crazy and sometimes very stressful. Almost three years and two kids into it, I'm starting to realize that parenting will probably never level off and feel easy (again. There was that brief period between about 8 and 14 months of Eden's life when momentarily, we felt like we have this). My friends with teenagers tell me they would kill for toddlers again. Meanwhile, a baby and a toddler (nearly preschooler) is nearly killing ME. And Matt. Somehow lightning struck us twice and we have TWO KIDS WHO BARELY SLEEP. Eden hasn't napped well since she turned one, though she usually sleeps through the night. Eve slept at night for about two weeks a month ago and since then is back to not just night waking, but getting up at 4:30, ready to start the day. Naps for her are hit or miss. They take turns with a 5am wakeup call. I never thought 6 or 6:30am would feel like such luxury, but nowadays it would, as would even a 30 minute daytime interlude where both were sleeping or independently occupied. Throw in a couple of back-to-back sleepless nights at births and WOW, it's amazing we're all doing as well as we are. But both girls seem to be in rather high-needs periods and I feel like I can't set somebody down for a minute without angry, indignant shrieking, reaching, clinging. Eve, like Eden did before her, is shedding her happy-go-lucky baby complacency now that she's turned one and has feelings, opinions, and suddenly (we didn't see this coming) a voice and an appetite to match or even drown out her older sister's. Who knew?
Yet, through it all, we're hanging together and managing to do mostly pretty well. The past week or so, sleep deprivation has had me just putting one foot in front of the other. Today, I actually felt like I got some of my joy of mothering back. Nothing major, just able to savor little moments, like: the pile of small bodies on mine first thing in the morning, looking down at those two little faces, all upturned noses and long eyelashes. Both of them laughing in swings at the park on a perfect spring morning. Eve making steady progress toward independent movement, while Eden is out the door in a flash after a bath and five minutes later is garden-filthy again. Eve nodding off on my shoulder (thankyouGod) at bedtime, and Eden growing heavy on my lap while I read her A Fish Out of Water. A few blessed minutes to actually get some work done before it's time to feed the baby and try to get some sleep.
A good day.
