This pregnancy progresses: 14 weeks, 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 32 weeks
32 weeks last time compared to this timeAlmost on the home stretch, I can say definitively that this pregnancy has been so much easier than the last one.
Eden is amazing and I'd endure plenty more for her--she was obviously beyond worth it--but I think I would labor and birth her every day for a week before I would choose to undergo those nine months again. Luckily, this time has been a relative piece of cake, comparatively speaking. From my morning sickness (a reasonable, though miserable, few weeks when I was around 8-12 weeks pregnant) to my symphysis pain (the occasional twinge here and there) to my swelling (no real signs as of 32 weeks, as of which point I was a walking Michelin woman last time), pretty much all of the symptoms that plagued me last time have been dramatically lessened this time. Theories abound: it's because it's a boy, it's because my body "knows how" to do things better this time around...I have no idea on the former, and would somewhat buy into the latter, but my theory is that it's because my stress level is lower. Despite enduring a move from Virginia to Pennsylvania, four months of clinicals, a temporary move back to Virginia (and staying with multiple families) to work a crazy stretch of long hours, then a semi-permanent move back to Iowa to live with my parents, take the boards, and start a new job...despite all that, and having Eden to take care of, I feel massively less stressed out than I did when I was working at the hospital.
Why? There are two primary reasons I think it was so stressful there, to an extent I didn't even realize until I left. The first was the obvious: 12+-hour shifts on your feet in a busy hospital unit are taxing. Fighting constantly with doctors is taxing. Feeling disempowered in your line of work is taxing. I definitely had all of that going on, as most bedside nurses do. And now--I don't!
Second, choosing to have a homebirth when you work in labor and delivery opens you up to all kinds of scrutiny, commentary, criticism, etc. Correctly or not, I felt like my every move (which tests? Who at the birth? What interventions?) was being watched, judged, and evaluated, and I had to choose to either conceal what I was doing (not an easy feat when people are constantly asking, whether out of nosiness or the genuine attempt to make pleasant conversation), or lie, or constantly defend myself. Not exactly gestating in peace. This time around, NOT working in the hospital means that not only am I not not surrounded by a medically-minded atmosphere, but I'm also less exposed to casual conversations with people whose opinions may or may not be valuable to me. Instead, my interactions are largely with family and supportive, midwifery-minded friends. That's all. It's left me free to alternate spells of just enjoying and then occasionally even forgetting my pregnancy. And that has felt like such a gift.
Eden is amazing and I'd endure plenty more for her--she was obviously beyond worth it--but I think I would labor and birth her every day for a week before I would choose to undergo those nine months again. Luckily, this time has been a relative piece of cake, comparatively speaking. From my morning sickness (a reasonable, though miserable, few weeks when I was around 8-12 weeks pregnant) to my symphysis pain (the occasional twinge here and there) to my swelling (no real signs as of 32 weeks, as of which point I was a walking Michelin woman last time), pretty much all of the symptoms that plagued me last time have been dramatically lessened this time. Theories abound: it's because it's a boy, it's because my body "knows how" to do things better this time around...I have no idea on the former, and would somewhat buy into the latter, but my theory is that it's because my stress level is lower. Despite enduring a move from Virginia to Pennsylvania, four months of clinicals, a temporary move back to Virginia (and staying with multiple families) to work a crazy stretch of long hours, then a semi-permanent move back to Iowa to live with my parents, take the boards, and start a new job...despite all that, and having Eden to take care of, I feel massively less stressed out than I did when I was working at the hospital.
Why? There are two primary reasons I think it was so stressful there, to an extent I didn't even realize until I left. The first was the obvious: 12+-hour shifts on your feet in a busy hospital unit are taxing. Fighting constantly with doctors is taxing. Feeling disempowered in your line of work is taxing. I definitely had all of that going on, as most bedside nurses do. And now--I don't!
Second, choosing to have a homebirth when you work in labor and delivery opens you up to all kinds of scrutiny, commentary, criticism, etc. Correctly or not, I felt like my every move (which tests? Who at the birth? What interventions?) was being watched, judged, and evaluated, and I had to choose to either conceal what I was doing (not an easy feat when people are constantly asking, whether out of nosiness or the genuine attempt to make pleasant conversation), or lie, or constantly defend myself. Not exactly gestating in peace. This time around, NOT working in the hospital means that not only am I not not surrounded by a medically-minded atmosphere, but I'm also less exposed to casual conversations with people whose opinions may or may not be valuable to me. Instead, my interactions are largely with family and supportive, midwifery-minded friends. That's all. It's left me free to alternate spells of just enjoying and then occasionally even forgetting my pregnancy. And that has felt like such a gift.
5 comments:
Oh wow, I hadn't realized you were pregnant again and due quite soon, congrats! I'm so happy to hear that it is a lot easier for you this time around too. Big Congrats! I completley agree with the stress thing. I would love to hear if you will be doing everything the same this time or some things different, still elimination training, etc.
@ Sally--for the most part, we are planning on doing things the same way, to the extent that we're able while chasing around a 2-year-old! I'll do my best to blog about our experiences with all of that this time around as well! Thanks for reading and for commenting!
Man I'm not sure I'll ever get time to write more but... you look beautiful... So, I take time out to bear the ill news that as you know you also look less puffy and potentially hypertensive ... which could, despite the p2, mean a longer labor. Which is NOT a bad thing. Just prepare for that.. So much to say, let's talk soon. Love you all.
duh P1.
Thanks for your kind words, MB! I have considered that possibility myself--that my more "normal" pregnancy may result in a more "normal" labor. That would probably be OK :) Still wish there were a way for you to be there, though! Miss you like crazy and can't wait to hear about you and Lili's adventures! Thanks for taking the time to comment!
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