Easing up

Things with Eden were 1000% better today. While we still had our share of tantrums, potty accidents, and other standard 2-year-old fare, and she is still "declining" to take a nap, she was actually very sweet, cuddly, and affectionate most of the day, did like she was told more often than usual, and spent most of the day using the potty and wearing dry training pants. 

I felt like I'd been let out of jail.

Happy World Breastfeeding Week/National Breastfeeding Month from Eden and me

Little sicky

Few things make you feel like a parent quite so singlehandedly as waking up to the hot gush of a child's vomit across your dozing body. Nor subsequently getting in the shower with said child to hose off at 3:00 in the morning. And especially, nothing quite like being the only person in the world that the damp, feverish little bundle wants to cling to.

Eden has the stomach flu, complete with fever. I would probably characterize it as her first real illness other than a couple bouts of the sniffles. Interestingly enough, it directly coincided with the time period where my work and clinical schedule have signaled a distinct downturn in the amount of nursing she's doing, so I'm not really surprised that she's sick for the first time. I've sorely missed the nursing, as well as her in general, so it actually felt really sweet and nice to spend all night and then the entire day with her cuddled on my chest, doing nothing but that and snuggling.

I think she's actually on the mend, since she hasn't barfed since this morning, but she's still quite clingy and hot. Bring on the snuggling and nursing.

A year ago tonight...

...we were settling in for our first night as the parents of a brand-new baby.

We never could have imagined then all the immeasurable ways that Eden would change our lives for the better, and it's impossible to overstate how much richness and joy she's brought to our lives.

We love you, baby girl.

Food for thought

I missed the boat on World Breastfeeding Week last week, but here's a related video, a little late:



Breastfeeding is interesting. Eden has nursed all over the place, from Bed Bath & Beyond to in front of the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum to a grassy hillside at Harper's Ferry to our favorite Indian buffet. I've always been a proponent of the right to breastfeed in public, but it wasn't until I had a baby myself that I realized on a pragmatic level just how much less conspicuous it is to breastfeed than to try to pacify a screaming, hungry baby. (And given that breastfed babies typically eat 8-10 times a day, the only option besides breastfeeding in public would be to essentially retreat from public life entirely.) We were out to lunch the other day, and I was doing the former and could hear someone across the restaurant trying to do the latter. Nobody noticed what I was doing, but every person eating lunch was aware of what she was doing. I felt bad for her. So far, I haven't had anybody raise an issue, and when people have noticed (like in the hallway at church), they're more apt to smile than anything else, which is nice.

We've also given Eden a bottle of pumped milk on occasion, in preparation for my return to work part-time. While I'm thankful she'll take it pretty easily, it still makes me a little sad to see her do it--but it also makes me even more thankful each time I do get to breastfeed her, even when that's at 4am.

Thoughts on pregnancy, birth, and parenting

Labor and birth with a 10-lb, 2-oz baby, as intense and demanding as they were, posed far less of a challenge for me than pregnancy did.

Labor and birth are fast-paced (at least for me) and breathtakingly acute, but they're also rather fascinating, and even somewhat magical. Sort of like an altered state of consciousness, there's something stark and kind of addictive about it.

Pregnancy, on the other hand, is certainly magical in its own way, but also full of long months of mundane discomforts. Swelling. Hemorrhoids. Achiness. Nausea. Exhaustion.

As Eden turns one month old, and her strong and opinionated personality starts to emerge from her former compliant newborn sweetness, I'm realizing that parenting is a lot more like pregnancy than it is like birth. Certainly, there's something magical about watching someone's personhood emerge day by day, and I can only imagine how much more awaits me beyond just the first month. But there's also the period every day where she's inconsolably crabby, and of course it always hits when there are still hours left before Matt will be home and I'll be able to give my aching arms and back a teensy break before my 11-lb baby needs to be nursed again. Furthermore, like pregnancy, the germination stage is a long one--measured in months and years, not hours.

Parenthood is also full of mundane discomforts. Achiness. Exhaustion. Repetition. Changing a diaper for the fourth time in an hour. Wondering if you'll ever be able to wear a shirt for more than fifteen minutes without getting milk down the front of it or spitup down the back of it. Wondering if she'll ever do the same. Wondering if you'll ever be alone in the bathroom again, or have the use of both arms for any length of time. Coming across an event or happening and thinking "What fun! Let's go to that," and then remembering that you really can't.

Then something comes along to remind you that there are those for whom parenting is anything but routine.

And it makes the above scenario, milky shirt and aching back and fussing baby, look pretty good. As Amy says, "Bring on the mundane."

Because stories like that make you realize that even in the midst of what seems like an exasperating day, there's magic there if you can remember where to look.

Week three

Eden's third week has been more of a challenge than the first two. Our reserves have gotten pretty low, plus Eden is moving from that newborn, "whatever you guys want to do is cool with me" vibe to having more of an opinion on what she does and what's done to her. She's still a mellow baby, but she's definitely gotten more vocal about when she needs something. Plus, she's having much more distinct sleep and waking periods, and I'll just say that they don't fall, respectively, exactly when we wish they would.

Yesterday was kind of an all-around low point for us--she (and by extension, we) only slept three hours the night before, and they were not consecutive hours, either. We gave up and got up at 6, then headed out around 8 to go apply for her birth certificate--and boy, were we feeling it. That fuzzy, achy, allover weariness and and discomfort and barely-able-to-keep-our-eyes-open stupor. We gave up again around 11:00, and wound up napping until just around 1. We felt a little better after that, but Eden was somewhat fussy all day, probably because she was tired, and couldn't make up her mind whether she wanted to eat or sleep or be held or not or what. We went out to try to run some errands in the late afternoon, but she fussed whenever we took her in or out of her carseat, but then also fussed when we'd leave her in there. So finally, we gave up (are you noticing a theme here?!) and went home with our errands half finished.

Unable to face another night like that, we dedicated ourselves to trying to figure out ways to help her settle in for the night. We gave her a bath (which she absolutely loves--you can just see her relax and soften as soon as she hits the water) and did a little baby massage with some coconut oil, and decided trying to play soft music in our bedroom throughout the night, since we've noticed she sleeps like a rock whenever it's noisy but seems to have trouble settling herself when it's quiet. We'd received a couple of lullabye CDs as gifts (thanks, Mary and Pam!) and so we cued those up and braced ourselves. Like she usually does, Eden woke up at 11:30, just as we were ready to drift off to sleep...so I fed her, Matt changed her, and to our surprise, she fell back asleep.

The next time I looked at the clock, Eden was starting to stir and it was FOUR AM. As in, we had just had, like, FOUR HOURS OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP. Matt was as euphoric about it as I was. Then, I fed her, Matt changed her, and...she went back to sleep. Again!

We've noticed that Eden tends to spit up a lot if she doesn't sit up for awhile after she eats. Sometimes it's related to burping and sometimes it seems like gravity just makes her...overflow. So we were also utilizing that technique, which seemed to help her be more comfortable and fall back asleep better. AND THEN...the next thing we knew it was EIGHT THIRTY. Meaning we had had practically seven hours of sleep, several of them consecutive.

It's the best we've done in a long time. And Matt and I felt like a million bucks as a result.

Eden seemed to feel pretty good about herself too. She was in a great mood and as a result, we decided to walk her down to the farmer's market and to the Lakeside Cafe, where we first (and last) went just about exactly a year ago. We had an awesome breakfast and Eden slept the whole time in the Baby Bjorn.

All in all, it was just an absolutely lovely day. The temperature was probably in the low 70's (cooler than that in the shade, hence Eden's hat), the baby was in a good mood, and we had gotten more sleep than we'd had in weeks.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Out & about with Eden

We've had Eden out for a little walk or outing most days that we've had her, but last night we went on our first major "date" as a family: out to eat at Chipotle. (They're cheap, they're tasty, and they're sustainable, which are three major reasons we like to eat there. A fourth is that they're close by.) We ate outside, enjoyed our food and the 75-degree weather, and got lots of smiles and nice comments on our baby. After that, we took her (with Matt carrying her in a sling) for a walk around the Reston Town Center, where several people did a double take and said "Whoa, oh my goodness, there's a baby in there!" Evidently babies in slings aren't a particularly common sight around these parts? After the second or third time, Matt told me he was going to start telling people, "No, I just keep my gun and my smack in here."

On the way back to the car, we walked past a couple of older ladies dining outside who absolutely gushed over Eden, complimented Matt highly on being the one to carry/wear the baby, and told me how fantastic I was looking postpartum. Boy, you can't BUY that kind of three-for-one flattery. We'll have to keep taking these little walks!

One of my favorite comments of the evening came when we stopped into Whole Foods to pick up an item or two and a man in line asked about Eden, "She's what, around two or three...?" And Matt filled in "Actually, just one and a half." He said "Yep, I didn't think that baby was more than about two months old." And I had to correct him "Uh, no, that's one and a half weeks." He looked startled, then said "Oh boy, that's a big baby!" Yes, she is. And she's all ours.

A week later: settling in

Now that we've had Eden for just over a week, we're starting to settle into --not quite a routine, but at the very least a rhythm. We're getting to know her needs and habits, which helps things run pretty smoothly, if not always predictably. Of course, we're totally not on any semblance of a working schedule at this point (we've gone from waking up at 5:30 and going to bed at 9:30 to going to bed around 11 and getting up between 10 and noon, sleeping in what pockets of time we can manage between those times, and often napping during the day as well), but so far Eden is happy and eating well, and we're taking turns getting up with her as much as we can to allow each person a few uninterrupted hours of sleep where possible. For her part, Eden is a joy of a baby--she only fusses or cries when she needs something, she consoles quickly, and seems happy as a clam to go anywhere we do, whether in our arms, a sling, or a Baby Ergo carrier. Breastfeeding is going very well, we're loving our cloth diapers, and we're completely smitten with our baby girl. We're getting less sleep and doing more laundry than we could have anticipated--but we're also happier than we ever thought we could be.

The family bed

Last Sunday I woke up with the worst sore throat I've ever had, and I've been fighting a nasty cold ever since. While the adrenaline from giving birth and the relief at no longer being pregnant went a long way toward keeping me from feeling too badly, within the last day I started to feel the exhaustion and the cold catching up with me. Matt was also starting to develop a sore throat and a cough, and poor Eden has a very stuffy nose. So last night after attending a low-key Fourth of July barbecue, we resolved to spend today in bed together, hanging out and resting and recuperating. So far we've largely done just that, though we did get out for a couple of hours this evening to have some company. Other than that, we've just napped, read, nursed, eaten, and otherwise enjoyed each other's company in bed all day, and I think we are all feeling much better--not that we'll let that stop us from spending much of tomorrow the same way, both because it was so lovely and enjoyable, and also to make sure we're all truly on the mend.

More Eden

Eden is nursing, peeing, and pooping like a champ--every hour and a half like clockwork, all night, as a matter of fact. Despite that, this morning she was the most alert we've seen her so far, and so we thought we'd lay down a little video, in addition to posting a few pictures we took late yesterday.