Finding a New Path

For regular readers of Matt & Katie, it would have been hard to miss that we went through a bit of a rough patch a bit back. While things have vastly improved, and we know more than ever how much we love each other, there is still healing going on and the things we learned will be on our minds for some time, probably forever. The reason that I am writing this is tell us to one of the amazing things that came out of this ordeal, the reason that we have made it this far and will continue to get better and better-when things got really bad, we put our trust in God, and we continue to put it there together. This is not something that I could have predicted, or even that I was looking for at all, but it came to us, sort of like a slap in the face. And what a welcome slap it has been.

This has been the most meaningful and important experience in my life to come together with Katie and build this part of us. She has been an amazing guide throughout. We have always had the most amazing relationship, and we did not even realize that something was missing, but our new found spiritually has not only filled a void, it has brought us together like never before. It is amazing that such an enormous change can feel so natural. So lately, we have been praying together, praying for each other, thinking about and discussing God and his role in our lives, and reading the Bible. This is the first time in my life that I have actually sat down to read the Bible, but it is even more amazing of a book than I ever thought.

Here is a passage that has really meant a lot to me lately:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ."

Phillipians 4:4-7

Just this small passage embodies so many wonderful, powerful sentiments: comfort, empowerment, support, joy, gentleness, faith, and love. I feel like before I believed in God but used spirituality when it was convenient, sort of a tool to justify and understand other things. I did not realize the overarching importance of keeping a connection to God at all times, and how important this is for having a complete marriage. This has been fundamental for us, and has allowed us to continue to have an exciting, open, fearless, and loving marriage that we have always have, which is now more true than ever.

So, I leave you with the following thought: open your heart to what is inherently good, true, open, honest, supporting, fearless, and loving, and be on guard for anything that would try to undermine these. This principle took me and Katie to a place we may have not expected, but are so glad to be.

Without Further Ado...

Our own little bit of earth, which we've contracted to keep clean and free of trash (at least 4x a year), now handsomely marked by a surprisingly-durable aluminum sign.

Purty, ain't it?

Though we've more or less both given up show business, we still do love to see our names in print.

And, We're Back!

Stay tuned for pictures of our camping trip! In the meantime, I'm trying to spin my body clock 180 degrees so I can work third shift for the next two nights. Matt's back at work and I'm heading out to see my old law school buddy and we're going to go for a run for old time's sake. We're also getting our car back after having swapped with a friend who needed it for medical reasons for the past couple of months. It will be good to have the old silver MATT&KT-mobile back!

And, We're Off

We're going camping in the mountains tonight, and a couple of other places we're really excited about. Pictures to follow. Hope everybody has a great weekend!

Review: The Keeper Cup (Male or Squeamish Readers May Want to Skip This One)

For the past few months, I've been using the Keeper Cup instead of tampons. And I love it.

For someone frugal-minded who works in women's health who wants to reduce the amount of waste put into the environment, as well as possibly be more in touch with her own body, a menstrual cup is such a no-brainer I can't believe it took me this long. Here are some of the advantages I've noticed:

1) Reduces waste. 14 BILLION tampons, pads, and applicators end up in landfills every year. Do you want to be a part of that? I don't.

2) Fewer health risks. Conventional tampons, even those that are supposedly dioxin-free, have been found to have measurable levels of the chemical dioxin in them. Dioxin is linked to cancer, endometriosis and a variety of other health risks. There are so-called "organic" or 100% cotton tampons, but they have not been demonstrated to be any safer than regular tampons. They're also linked to Toxic Shock Syndrome, most likely because the wicking action of tampons dries out the vaginal walls and creates tiny tears by which bacteria can enter the bloodstream. The cup collects instead of absorbs, so normal vaginal secretions aren't affected. While there is theoretically a possible TSS risk with menstrual cups, it's much smaller than with tampons.

3) Less expensive. The Keeper is $35 and lasts up to 10 years, if not longer. $3.50 a year? That's $0.29 a period! Definitely cheaper than paying full price for tampons, and even gives CVS a run for its money.

4) More convenient? I like the fact that I don't have to worry about "having another tampon" with me at all times. I store the Keeper cup in its cloth bag in a pocket of my work bag, and then it's always around when I need it. You can also insert it proactively, which is definitely contraindicated for tampons; this can be especially helpful for those who experience spotting or irregular and unpredictable periods. While I've tried keeping backup tampons in my purse as well, the wrappers inevitably degrade or the tampons get smashed and it seemed like there was still often not one available when I needed it. This left me begging a co-worker for one, crossing my fingers (and my knees) and going without, or heaven forbid, dropping a quarter in the slot (which often doesn't work!) for, heaven forbid, some kind of crazy SCENTED tampon from a machine. I won't even go into the social and health implications of those. And, you don't have to deal with the embarrassment of flushing a tampon and clogging somebody's toilet or septic tank!

However, I put convenience with a question mark because I know there are those that question emptying the Keeper while anywhere but home. Even somebody as ballsy as I am can't really envision walking out of the stall, chatting lightly with someone while rinsing my menstral cup into the sink, and then waltzing back into the stall to reinsert. Luckily, the Keeper only needs to be emptied about every 12 hours (and I've gone longer), so I empty it before I go to work and when I get home, and don't even think about it the rest of the day. And most women don't even work 12-hour shifts. (The rubber one--I can't speak for silicone models--also makes some squeaky noises as you fold it into shape, and I could see where the more self-conscious would find that embarrassing as well.) However, others note that you can easily empty it into the toilet and just wipe it out with toilet paper when out in public.

5) Effectiveness. Since I've learned to use the Keeper effectively, I haven't experienced the leakage that is pretty common with all kinds of tampons. Because it's held in place by suction instead of by the vaginal walls, you don't have leakage around the cup. I've heard it's possible with a very full cup, but I've been surprised that even after 12 hours, the cup is rarely more than 1/4 full for me.

Possible Drawbacks

1) Requires comfort and familiarity with your body. There's definitely more visual and tactile up-closeness with your body when you use a menstrual cup. I view this as a good thing. I think it would be especially helpful if young girls could get comfortable using them--it would help eradicate the view of their "lady business" as something dirty and mysterious, and also serve as a visual indicator of how much blood one really loses during a given cycle. (Less than I thought!)

2) Learning curve. It has one. But then, you have this with tampons too. I remember an entire period where I walked around bowlegged because I didn't realize that the applicator had to be fully inserted before the tampon was deployed...I thought you just positioned it nearby and sort of launched the tampon. Needless to say, it didn't launch very far, and was incredibly uncomfortable. I've also talked to girls who knew to insert, but didn't realize that one then REMOVED the applicator. OUCH! The Keeper cup takes a little time to realize how to insert and remove comfortably, but time spent getting to know your own body is a good investment, in my opinion.

3) Convenience/neatness? Once again, depending on individual circumstances and squeamishness, this can go both ways.

4) Need especially good hygiene. If you're not careful about washing your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom, the fiddling necessary to first figure out how to comfortably use the Keeper cup could place you at risk for a UTI, just from normal skin bacteria.

If you're ready to get on the bandwagon, you can get one here! If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment.

As a side note, I use the regular rubber Keeper, but there are several silicone menstrual cups available as well. The Keeper Mooncup, Mooncup UK, Lunette, and DivaCup are a few; you can also find side-by-side reviews and comparisons of all types. Most come in two sizes, one for women who have given birth and one for those who haven't. (I found it especially interesting that the wording on the Keeper site recently changed to say "women who have given birth" vs "those who have not given birth OR have had C-section.")

Personally, I chose the Keeper because I thought the rubber looked and felt like more of a natural product than silicone, but I know many people are very happy with the silicone products. I also liked that the Keeper had a 3-month return policy, no questions asked (well, okay, one question: did you trim? Most people trim the stem on the Keeper for comfort, and you can NOT return it if you've trimmed more than half the stem. Don't ask me why. You can't use the the stem for removal--like a string on a tampon--because of the SUCTION!--so there's no reason they should require the stem to be left intact). In case you're not as pleased with yours as I am with mine, the return policy is something that's worth investigating before making the investment.

Companies Worth Doing Business With

I made another of my infamous phone calls this morning, this time because our Brita faucet filter has started spraying water all over the place when we use it. My view was that it was an investment we'd hoped would last longer than a year (we bought it last summer), and I was hoping the company would agree and repair or replace it.

To be prepared, I looked up their warranty policy on their website; it stated that products were guaranteed for a year and that if a product needed service after that, one should contact their customer service line. I honestly can't remember exactly when we bought our Brita, and while we saved our packaging and receipt at the time, it was then the victim of an unfortunate water leak under the sink at some point. I know we bought it shortly after moving to DC, because the water quality there was terrible, but that places us pretty squarely at the one-year mark; whether it's been a little more or a little less, I don't remember. I was hoping that, at the least, they'd let me mail it back in and get it repaired.

They did no such thing. Instead, the customer service agent on the phone apologized profusely for the problem, obtained my address and told me that a brand new unit was on its way, free of charge. He also mentioned that hot water damages the filtration system and that if one is going to be using hot water, the tab needs to be turned back to "regular" instead of "filtered" (which I didn't know) and that it's possibly best when using large quantities of hot tap water (like, oh, say, washing your dishes by hand after every meal) that the filter be taken off. Oh. So basically, it's very possible that we trashed it ourselves, albeit unwittingly, but he didn't point fingers or even ask for a date of purchase or receipt. He just sent a new one. (By taking a pledge to reduce bottled water usage, something I care about deeply anyway, I was also able to print a $1 off coupon for a new pack of filters from their website.)

Frugality is a neverending journey, and I think something most people in our situation come up against at some point is figuring out when cheap doesn't equal bargain. A couple of interesting posts on that topic have come up at Get Rich Slowly recently. One is about whether it's worth a few dollars to raise an issue when businesses don't want to keep their word, and one is about the abysmal customer service and return policies at Target.

The latter rings especially true for us as we recently realized that, due to a bad used-book habit we've developed (or both had to start with), we were outgrowing our current bookshelves. Because we spend a pretty minimal amount on books and try to only buy those that we see ourselves utilizing frequently, we felt it was okay to sanction our burgeoning library by getting a new bookshelf. We would have loved to get a good used one, but there don't tend to be many at thrift stores and a new one didn't have to cost us that much anyway. So we went to Target, because it was close and cheap, and picked out a $30, 6-ft bookshelf that Matt assembled at home. Even upon opening the box, we were somewhat struck by the cheapness of the composition and design, and some pretty visually apparent flaws. It also didn't feel like the sturdiest bookshelf in town. Did any of this surprise us? Not really. Did it disappoint us? Absolutely. But we knew from personal experience, as most people do, how incredibly resistant Target is to returns of any kind, and so we resigned ourselves and Matt put it together.

On the one hand, we're delighted to have such an increased capacity for books and we think we dolled it up nicely. We love to read and it's fun to put books to decorative use as well; few things are a more personal form of adornment, except for photographs.
However, in hindsight, we wished we'd either spent a weekend crafting a basic one ourselves, or gone somewhere that treats their customers with a little more respect. One option? Bed Bath and Beyond, which will pretty much take back anything at anytime. One cashier told me, "You could pretty much just buy a new set of sheets every year, bring back the old ones you'd been sleeping on, and we'd exchange them for you." And despite this--or, I would argue, because of it and the goodwill and positive word of mouth it generates-- the company seems to be thriving, no less than the stingier Target.

The moral of the story is that we're still learning to vote with our dollars. And sometimes you don't know what kind of a backbone a company has until you've dealt with them. But you can certainly take note for next time, and spend your dollars accordingly.

They Think We're Idiots

This is a hilarious look at how marketing targets women. Apparently there are several "Target Women" episodes, but the yogurt one is my favorite. Because yogurt is the official food of women!