Balancing Act

I'll admit I'm still working at finding the balance here. As a friend put it to me, "It sounds like you have a love/hate relationship with DC." I would call that accurate. Right now DC and I are in a little bit of a stormy phase, getting used to each other's bad habits and irrationalities while still experiencing the thrill of infatuation now and then. As this friend also put it, "But you're going to have that anywhere you go." Also true. And when I look at the upsides of our life here (a beautiful, historic city; unparalleled opportunity to study the law in the place where it's made and executed; the first independent steps of creating our marriage), the downsides (crowded trains, hot sweaty walks, and understocked grocery stores that are few and far between) do seem petty, though they are there and they do add up.

Law school, another source of frustration, is something I'm also holding out to get better. My mom told me recently that a lawyer she had talked to said that the first year of law school is all about seeing how much they can frustrate you. In that sense, I guess I ought to be reassured that I'm right on target.

Otherwise, I still have my tearful moments of missing being in a place where I feel like I "belonged," where people knew me and I knew them and daily life--like shopping and eating and transporting--didn't feel like such a major undertaking, but then I remember how stressful it was to start nursing (let's not kid ourselves--how stressful it was to start, continue, and finish nursing!), and how I felt like I would never belong there or be good at that and by the end of it I felt like I had really hit my stride. So, I'm trying to count my blessings (among them a wonderful, sensitive husband who answers my irrational tears with hugs and good advice instead of bewilderment or frustration) and hang in there until I'm able to hit the ground running.