Having it to do over again

Awhile back, someone commented on a blog post to ask whether we'd be doing things more or less the same way with Eve that we did with Eden. For the most part, the answer is yes.

Here's a rundown on some of the cornerstones of the parenting choices we made with Eden, and our assessment of where it's taken her now that she's almost two.

• Homebirth/waterbirth. We never really considered doing anything else. While my labor was (even) shorter this time, clocking in at an hour and a half compared to two and a half hours with Eden, other than that, the births were remarkably similar. Besides the fact that I probably wouldn't have made it to a hospital either time, giving birth in our own surroundings and growing our family at home (rather than having to make that transition in a busy, noisy hospital) was invaluable. And once again, while nothing makes labor fun, our trusty, $100 La Bassine waterbirth pool is hands-down one of the best investments we've ever made!
• Breastfeeding. Like the above, this one was a lock. I nursed Eden until she was about one and a half, about to the midway point of my pregnancy with Eve, and it was a close, happy, intimate time. You can read more on that here. Interestingly, I'd intended to nurse Eden longer--until she was two, at least--but in hindsight, I'm really happy with the fact that we weaned when we did. Her personality has so intensified over the past six months, and so I think if we were still nursing, it would be much more difficult/traumatic for her to give up (or accept a "not right now" when she wanted to nurse). I know other families make other choices, and think that's great. This is what evolved for us. Would I do the same for Eve? Yes--both in terms of watching for signs of readiness to wean around age 18 months, and also in terms of letting things evolve in a way that feels natural and comfortable for her and me both. Eve already seems like a very different personality than Eden, so we'll see what happens.
• Cloth diapering. Once again, we fell in love with this system when we had Eden, and never considered doing it any other way. Eve and Eden (who is still working on the urine aspect of potty training) are both currently wearing the newborn-sized prefolds (Eden wears them trifolded in a Flip cover) that we got when Eden was, well, a newborn. These two-year-old diapers work as well as ever (though we did purchase a few more, so we aren't doing laundry multiple times a day!). We also still like the prefold-and-cover system (we use these Indian prefolds and Bummis Super Whisper Wrap or Swaddlebee's wool covers), though I do somewhat spoil myself at night or on outings with some of these adorable newborn BumGenius all-in-ones. I bought four on Craigslist back in Virginia, and recently ordered four more. (I don't like AIO's as well for older babies since they're a little harder to get odors and residues out of, but for newborns they work great.) My financial conclusion about cloth diapering? It's possible to save an absolute TON of money, but with all the cute diapers and accessories out there, it's also definitely possible not to! There is also a middle ground-- spending some of the money you're saving on disposables on a few nice cloth splurges.
• Elimination communication (EC). We started EC'ing with Eden when she was around 6 weeks old. Her pottying journey has had ups and downs, as I've heard is typical. Between about ages 3 months and 1 year, she was using the potty almost all the time. She would go potty (or try) when we cued her, and she showed definite cues when she had to go. About the time she learned to walk, she realized there were more interesting things to be doing, and also, I think, that she had a choice in the matter. (This was also around the time I started working full-time and we moved to Pennsylvania, so that also could have been a factor.) She never stopped pooping on the potty, but peeing was very hit or miss, and pretty much still is. At 23 months, she will have whole days where she only goes on the potty, but then she'll totally fall off the wagon again. My mom tells us we all trained ourselves at age 26 months, so I'm just following Eden's lead and then holding out hope for that. In the meantime, I'm grateful that I haven't had to spend the past 21 months changing poopy diapers, at least! As far as Eve goes, we don't have nearly the time or free hands to be pottying her like we did with Eden, but I'm working on it, and would definitely love for her to follow in her big sister's footsteps this way.
• Babywearing. The best. I started with Eden in a Baby Bjorn, then by about a month old had moved up to a Hotsling and an Ergo. Eventually I fell in love with a Moby, and Eden spent many, many happy hours in there (and occasionally still does). I can also sling her quite well in a hip carry, and did all the way through this pregnancy. This time around, I don't have quite as much time to be wrapping and re-wrapping a Moby, and I think I may be falling in love with a ring sling (borrowed from a friend in anticipating of buying my own). I was a little intimidated by them the first time around, but they're less complicated than a Moby and so infinitely adjustable. I've also successfully worn Eve in the Hotsling and Eden in the ring sling at the same time! Necessity is also pushing me to investigate more back carries, which I never really mastered (or practiced) with Eden. Benefits I saw and have seen from babywearing include a massively content baby, hands-free nursing, the ability to get something done without sacrificing time with my baby, and, unscientifically, many people have commented on Eden's excellent sense of balance, and this is something I hear is improved by the kinesthetics of being worn on an active adult's body rather than hanging out in a crib, bouncer, or carseat.
• Cosleeping. Once again, something we didn't know we would love so much. Falling asleep with a sweet newborn on my chest, being able to roll over and nurse half-asleep, constant proximity to my baby, and waking up to her lovely face are just a few of the benefits we've enjoyed with both girls. As with weaning, we'll watch Eve for signs of wanting or needing her own bed sometime around 12-18 months, but unless she's kicking us mercilessly, we'll follow her lead on that as well.
• Food choices with solid foods. A wise friend of mine once told me her child didn't become picky until she introduced him to grains--then suddenly all he wanted were Cheerios, granola bars, toast, bread, etc. This is actually what led us into Primal eating. We started Eden on what we ate--no baby foods or purees--around 6 or 7 months. One thing I might change would be to wait longer --it didn't seem like it agreed with her at first. Other than that, though, feeding her a variety of tastes and textures like meats, vegetables, raw dairy, and fruit seems to have resulted in a toddler with a robust (!) appetite and a startling palate (brown mustard, sauerkraut, pickles, zucchini, and broccoli are some of the more mature tastes she enjoys, though like any toddler, she loves a good hot dog too). She's also sturdy, healthy, and almost never sick. While I can't say she's never had grains, I can say that when they're on the table, her consumption of other (more nutritious foods) goes way down. When Eve is ready to eat table food, we plan to feed her what we're eating, and avoid sugar and grains as well. 

As I mentioned, Eve and Eden seem to already have radically different personalities, and so I'm sure raising them will be very different experiences, despite their both being girls and despite our similar parenting choices.  It's certainly nice, though, that with our second child, we can base our choices on experience as well as intuition and research, and so we at least have a good idea of where to start.