Breast Is Best

Just ask these orphaned tiger cubs!

Long Time, No Blog

But really, not too many exciting updates.This past week was busy for us, as I worked almost every day of the week and then spent all day Saturday and Sunday downtown DC training for the RAINN Online Hotline. Matt was kind enough to accompany me, and so each day we met up for lunch and warmed up our lunch in the swanky GWU Law School student lounge. Sunday evening, we got home to an apartment that looked like squatters had been living there all week. Almost every single dish and Tupperware we owned was dirty, clothes from the week were lying where we'd dropped them, and the piles of clean laundry were practically indistinguishable from the dirty. (And when you're using cloth wipes instead of toilet paper, it's nice when there's a distinction.) So we got down to business and luckily, living in a one-bedroom apartment means that even if the whole thing is pretty trashed, it still doesn't take much more than an hour or so to get it pretty presentable again.

Today I'm on call for work, but they haven't called, which means that it's a school day. Technically, classes don't start until October 6th, but I'm getting a jump start because the next week promises to be an even BUSIER week. Once again, I work nearly almost every day, and then over the weekend I have some work activities on Saturday and Sunday. I'm on call overnight Sunday night, have a meeting at 7:30 in the morning, and then work overnight Monday night and Tuesday night. Wednesday, we leave for Seattle, where Matt has a business meeting. (No more of this separation crap when we can help it!). Between the travel and the time change, I'm anticipating it might be advantageous to be a little ahead in my schoolwork!

Besides that, the only other recent development is that Matt and I have recently become devotees of natural family planning (and no, it isn't just the rhythm method!). Appreciating that this is TMI for many of our regular readers, we've started a separate blog where you can go to learn everything you've ever wanted to know about the sympto-thermal method--and, if that is a big fat NOTHING, you can avoid the topic entirely. This is the only time I'm ever going to mention it here. You're welcome. As my sister put it, "Well, if tracking your cycle and not using toilet paper means things are going good, I guess for you guys, things are going great!"

Coercion vs Consent, or The Right to VBAC: An Attorney Speaks

Rixa at the True Face of Birth links to an outstanding article by an attorney who is concerned about the coerciveness of forcing women into repeat Cesareans they don't want. An excerpt:

Policies and practices that force pregnant women to submit to unnecessary surgery cannot be justified. We would never countenance that practice for any other patient. Pointing to potential risk to the baby does not justify ignoring the mother's decisions about her medical care.

Such reasoning inappropriately views a pregnant woman's decision about her and her baby's needs as suspect, and it ignores her legal rights as a patient. All pregnant women, whether they view birth as a natural event only rarely needing medical intervention, or whether they willingly accept medical assistance with the birth process, have the legal right to informed consent and to direct the experience of bringing their children into the world.

THANK YOU! Particularly because doctors love to blame "the legal climate" for exactly the kinds of practices Ainsworth is decrying, I find this fascinating.

If You Have to Have One...

Bellies and Babies has a great post about how to maximize the experience of a hospital birth.

Because School is Starting and I am a Dork...and What is UP With Pregnancy Magazines?!

I decided it would be nice to snazz up the binder I'm using for all my midwifery materials. Classes haven't started yet, but I wanted to do something to further the process, so I got dividers and made tabs and then salvaged an old Fit Pregnancy magazine (free from the used book shop!) and tore out pictures of moms and babies and bellies and breastfeeding. It now looks like this:

On the back, I'm printing out this Wordle, which miraculously color-coordinates quite well with the sage-y green and ivory tones many of the moms on the cover are wearing. A little cheesy, I know, but it never hurts to have a little visual inspiration reminding you what you're working for day after day!

As a side note--this is really the first pregnancy magazine I've ever read, but I was honestly appalled at what a meat market it was. I'm all for naked pregnant ladies, as many of you know-- but it was strange to me how inappropriate the pictures seemed to the content. Articles whose content could have been illustrated with tasteful skin-baring were accompanied by models who were fully clothed. And concepts that had nothing to do with showing copious amounts of skin were accompanied by what looked For example, the caption on the picture at the top right of my notebook, the lady in green who's breastfeeding, said to "ditch the clothes--skin to skin is best for learning to breastfeed." Except, hey, THAT woman is wearing clothes!

And the woman below--who exercises covered up from chin to toes like that? Especially while under the heat-generating influences of pregnancy hormones!

And this ad for a nursing bra which is also a tank top--because heaven forbid you show any SKIN while you're NURSING! It should look like you're not even doing it!

An ad for Motherhood Maternity (which sells clothing!) featured a pregnant woman in a tiny bikini with a matching purse and a pair of gold stiletto heels. (I'd love to show it to you, but I think I must have cut it up.) Kind of silly for a magazine whose tagline is "Real moms, real advice." Right. Because the real moms I know wear exactly that kind of thing.

Caption for the picture below: "Carpal tunnel syndrome can be worse at night during pregnancy."

Now is that bettered or worsened by sleeping naked?

This one was about eating lots of produce...nearly nude, apparently.

She must have learned about that from this lady below, who accompanies an article about gestational diabetes, which is apparently linked to a high rate of raiding the refrigerator in your undies.

Once again...odd. I thought that the pictures that featured near-nudity, except for maybe this one below,

didn't due so to glorify pregnancy but to simulate the sexual, come-hither photos of nonpregnant women that accompany everything from exercise gear to yogurt to men's cologne. It's ridiculous, it's insulting, and it's disappointing--that even when a woman's body is in the midst of literally performing a miracle, our society is ultimately still focused not on what she can do, but simply what she looks like.

Homemade Dishwasher Detergent!

Matt and I don't use the dishwasher very often, because ours is such that we have to wash the dishes by hand either before or after you use it anyway, and thus in our case it is not the time-, labor-, or water-saving device it was intended to be. But every so often we'll have a major cookfest and be left with a batch of dishes we just don't feel like facing.

This weekend was one such occasion, and I was also spoiling to try out this recipe (from a blog I really enjoy), which I was excited about since I had leftover borax and washing soda from making laundry soap, and I had recently gone out to purchase some tea tree oil because my skin was acting up a little bit. So. I omitted the lavender oil because I didn't have any, instead just combining:

1/2 cup borax
1/2 cup washing soda
Two small drops of tea tree oil

I made a half batch since, as I mentioned, we don't use it that often. I put it in an old yogurt container and shook it up well, then labeled it. I also took the additional advice to fill the "rinse aid" compartment (which I'd never even noticed!) with vinegar.

I don't know if it was the soap or the vinegar or both, but honestly the dishes have never come out cleaner. They were streak-free and delightfully clean. There was really no lingering scent, either of tea tree or of vinegar. As with the laundry detergent, the ingredients are so cheap that it's a hands-down winner over anything you'd buy at the store. And much better for the environment. I give it an A+!

Sour Milk Cake

I found this recipe on SlashFood, and the beautiful picture on that site (and the half-gallon of sour milk in my fridge), plus the fact that the author is a fellow raw-milk devotee, convinced me I had to make it.

Here's the recipe, from SlashFood:

SOUR MILK CAKE
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 cup sour milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon grated nutmeg
[I also added 1/2 tsp grated ginger, because we LOVE ginger-KS]
pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and butter a 9 inch square baking pan.

Cream butter and sugar together. Add in egg, sour milk and vanilla. Stir to combine and set aside.

Mix together all dry ingredients (I tend to skip the sifting step and just combine using a whisk). [As do I, SlashFood, as do I.-KS]

Add half the dry ingredients to the wet and stir to incorporate. Repeat and stir until batter is just combined.

Pour into the baking pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes (until a cake tester comes out clean).

In case you're interested, here are the Nutrition Facts, courtesy of Calorie Count and based on 9 servings per pan:

Calories: 280
Total Fat: 12 g
Saturated Fat: 7.2 g (36% DV)
Cholesterol: 51mg
Sodium: 161mg
Fiber: 3.1 g
Sugars: 18.2 g
Protein: 4.3 g

Vitamin A: 7% DV
Calcium: 7% DV
Vitamin C: 0% DV
Iron: 5% DV

For some reason it gave it an F, which I don't think is necessarily a fair grade.

Anyway, the cake was delicious--tender, moist, spicy, and wonderful. Since we've got the sour milk, we'll probably make another one soon!

The Return of Comfort Foods

Today's high temp was still 80 degrees, but that hasn't stopped us from taking advantage of some of our favorite cooler-weather comfort foods.

Because we were in DC this weekend, and therefore stopped by Aldi's, we thought it prudent to stock up on some canned goods. In particular, beans and tomatoes, as well as inexpensive shredded cheese. Why? Two words for you: Mexican Casserole. Ahhhh. We hadn't had it in several months (being as it's neither the cheapest nor the healthiest item on our menu), but boy, was it good.

Similarly, tonight (having been informed that work is not in need of my services this afternoon), I'm making Asparagus Risotto. I suppose the asparagus makes it technically more of a spring/summer dish, but the its warm, comforting creaminess, and the fact that we were originally introduced to the mushroom version in cool weather (back in Iowa City, when I was working nights), always makes me feel cozy.

We've also been doing more baking than usual! Last week we made cookies, made all the more (strangely) delicious by the substitution of lard for butter. Not exactly what you'd expect to read on this blog, I know, but the farmer we get our eggs and milk and butter from also sells lard, and we know from visiting that his hogs are humanely kept and humanely slaughtered. Add that to the fact that farm-fresh butter, while delectable and an absolutely incomparable cooking (and eating!) fat, is $10 a pound, and we needed to find a cheaper substitute for things like baking and greasing pans.

Enter lard. It fries things to an impeccable crisp, and pans greased with it slickly release their contents without a struggle. The cookies are crispy yet tender, with no discernible change in flavor. That said, after we'd had the lard for a bit it started to acquire a somewhat...bacon-y fragrance, so from now on, that batch at least is relegated only to savory foods.

Anyway, we also had a bunch of ripe bananas to use up from when I was gone, since Matt was only consuming half of our normal quantity. (Who knows why that concept escaped me while I was shopping!) So we made up a double batch of our favorite banana bread, baking one regular-sized loaf, one tiny loaf, and twelve muffins. Delicious!

Another product whose consumption fell last week was, unfortunately, milk. Having had the experience of running out of the milk we've come to love, our reaction has been to err on the opposite side of having too much. This means that occasionally we're left creaming our coffee with something a little tangier than we might choose. Having noticed this to be the case this morning, how could I resist whipping up a batch of this tantalizingly pictured Sour Milk Cake? Especially having learned my lesson about using it as a soup base. We're also planning to make pancakes for breakfast tomorrow (since we don't want to pour the milk on our bulgur), which will then leave us another five cups of slightly sour milk to use creatively. Ah, well, it's happened to us before.

Read This!

What it is: a fantastic (though very sad) post from Bellies and Babies about what it's like to be on the receiving end of the kind of rough, disrespectful obstetrical "care" I hate to watch being given. I can rant all day about what it's like to observe it, and try fruitlessly to rectify it, but somehow it's much more powerful to hear it directly from a patient and victim.

Homemade (Vegan) Lavender Laundry Soap

I've been conflicted lately about laundry soap.

I love it when my clothes smell springtime fresh, but I don't like it that what I'm really inhaling is a bunch of petrochemical perfumes. So recently I've been buying dye- and fragrance-free formulations, but I do miss having a little bit of scent to our clothes and towels.

I've also considered making our own laundry detergent, but it seemed like the recipes all had hit-or-miss reviews, and involved mixing huge quantities of strange-sounding ingredients. They also were all liquid detergents, which some people had trouble turning into anything but buckets of slime. Where would I keep all that, and what would I use to mix it up?

Imagine my excitement when I came across this recipe: a manageable quantity, a dry product, a rave review, and the use of a soap I already had and loved!

I purchased the 20 Mule Team Borax and the Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (NOT baking soda; apparently, baking soda is sodium bicarbonate, while washing soda is simply sodium carbonate, making it much more alkaline and therefore more caustic--so you wouldn't want to eat it!) for $6 total at the grocery store (laundry aisle). Then I shredded half a bar of Dr Bronner's in the Cuisinart, pulsed in the other two ingredients, and voila!

The basic ingredients

Looks like cheese!

All done!

The author who posted the recipe gives the cost breakdown as $0.10 per load if you're using a tablespoon of soap. We have a high-efficiency washer and usually use only about half of what the detergent instructions recommend, so we tried this out just using a heaping teaspoonful--so figure less than $0.05! It worked great! I made tomato sauce in a white t-shirt the other day and was somewhat dismayed to find oily orange spatters all over the front of it. It wasn't a t-shirt I wear much except for sleeping, so I didn't bother to pretreat it, but I secretly hoped the stains would come out in a regular cold-water wash. Except for two tiny, faint spatters, the rest of it did! The other laundry came out nice and clean, too.

I was a little bit disappointed that soap which smells so intensely of lavendar in the jar doesn't translate to any real lavendar scent at all on the clothes, but I think this is part of the deceptiveness of modern cleaning products: it takes a lot of chemicals to get those smells to attach themselves to your clothing (or your body, or your carpet, or whatever)! I'll take clean, scent-free laundry any day. And you can't beat the price!

Crunchy on a Whole New Level

I mentioned awhile back how impressed I was with Crunchy Domestic Goddess's Ditch the Disposables Challenge, and that really the only disposable we had left to ditch was toilet paper. We've flirted with cloth wipes in the past, and I think now (as we're running low on toilet paper!) is the time to make the switch. Amazingly, another blog I hadn't heard of previously called Crunchy Chicken is currently running an ultra-specific Cloth Wipe Challenge. Bingo! Count us in.

The plan: we already have a selection of rags around the house, and we'll probably just designate one (dark) color to be used in the bathroom. Like this site, we plan to use a squirt bottle of warm water to initiate the cleansing process, basically just using the cloth wipes to pat dry. This idea makes innate sense to me since it's very similar to the peri-bottles we give to new moms in the hospital for keeping their behinds fresh and clean.

As for where the used wipes go, I have an empty yogurt container (32 oz.) that's filled with water, a couple of drops of tea tree oil, and a scoop of washing soda. Happily, I already had all of these items around the house, and you can also use washing soda and tea tree oil (plus borax, which we've got leftover from making our own laundry detergent) to make homemade dishwasher detergent (which we plan to do tonight!). You just drop in the used wipes, and then run through the washer every couple of days. It remains to be seen whether we'll eventually need a bigger container, but it was the quickest thing I could find.

For even more reasons to go TP-free, and tips on doing so, you can go here.

Finally!

A birth video for dads. (Thanks to the Enjoy Birth blog for the info!) Because routine interventions are harmful to them, too. Every day, I see men standing by and feeling impotent while their babies are taken away, their wives are violated, and they feel powerless to stop either. I wish I didn't always have to say "It's okay to touch him--he's your baby." It's great to see men standing up and saying the same thing.

Frontier News

I'm back from Frontier Bound!

I hardly know where to start. The past week was less like an orientation than it was equal parts inspiration and initiation. My head is still spinning from what an inspiring and exhilarating place Frontier is. The faculty are an impressive, accomplished, and impossibly fun and funny bunch of women who can still be quickly moved to tears by simply talking about the art and craft of midwifery. We were also regaled by inspiring and heatwarming tales from great midwives of prior generations, including Kitty Ernst, the current president of the American College of Nurse Midwives (and author of the rebuttal letter to the AMA's proposal to outlaw homebirth, and Frontier alum). My fellow students, while an eclectic bunch to say the least, definitely have several among them who I know will go on to do great things. And my very first night there, I sat down at dinner in between a couple of people who by the end of the week felt like close friends. There's something about forming a bond with somebody that's based on such a consuming shared passion that you know you'll probably know them for life, even if you do live across the country. We all stayed up late almost every night, fueled by the high of finding people who don't think you're fringe or crazy, who get what you're saying without your having to explain it.

The main thing I felt overwhelmingly this week was a new awe and respect for the power of women. The only thing I know of more powerful than women giving birth is the power of women who have devoted their lives to helping those women find that strength. Who believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that the miraculous is possible, in birth and in their own lives. They say "Nobody comes to Frontier by accident," that we are all meant to be there, and I wouldn't believe it if you told me there was a single person who left there feeling like that wasn't true.

I'm sure there are those who feel like glorifying women and their achievements is somehow derogatory to men. But you can go to any city in the country--the world--and see plaques and monuments dedicated to men and what they've done. Washington, D.C. is absolutely full of them. So it was something else entirely to travel to a tiny town perched high in the mountains of Kentucky to revel in the brilliance and humanitarianism of several generations of brave, bright women; and to feel so incredibly proud as we prepare to take our places among them.

Me and Amanda at Wendover, the historic home of Mary Breckinridge (now a bed & breakfast)

Brick from the home of Florence Nightingale

Some of my favorite ladies!

From the drive home; Kentucky is one of the most beautiful states I've ever seen

I also enjoyed the drive to and from. The particular stretch of Virginia and Kentucky that I drove is just breathtaking, full of mountains and forests and spectacular scenery. It was especially nice to leave before dawn on the way home, and see the day slowly break as I wound my way through the mountains. I listened to an unconvincing and unimpressive but tolerable enough recorded book for awhile and then blasted music at top volume the rest of the way--a propensity inherited from my father, and shared by both my siblings. We all seem to like the music to be loud enough to drown out anything else, so loud that we can feel it just as much as we can hear it.

And then, finally, I was back home.

This is the Day!

With a little luck, I should have left Kentucky by now. Hopefully I'll be home for dinner!

Almost Done!!!

My Lady is coming home tomorrow! It has been a busier week than I expected, but still with its down points. We have been talking on the phone lots, and Katie is having a great time, but we are both very ready to be back together. This has been the hardest time apart thus far, but it has brought us closer together in so many ways. What was only a week has felt like a year.

I am such a lucky man to have Katie in my life. I am a little jealous to have to share her this week, but it is for such a good reason and worthy profession. And, what an endearing letter below, and a super sultry picture to boot! Good looking mug my wife!

I cannot wait for you to come home. The nest will be feathered and waiting...

Letter to My Husband

Dear Matt,

Tomorrow we'll see each other again. I can't wait. The week has been hard, but we've almost made it! I can't wait to get back to the routines of our daily life: running and bulgur in the morning, phone calls at lunch, snuggling and watching the Cosby Show in the evening. Falling asleep at night talking. I can't wait to get back on the folding bikes and run errands with you; like you said before, our bikes are like us: they just belong together. It's so sad to have one in the closet all by itself, just like it's sad to have an empty pillow next to me at night.

I'm so thankful that we've embraced the challenges that have come our way, and have come out even stronger. Marrying you was still the best thing I've ever done. I'm so excited about everything our future holds, especially starting a family with you. And I'm looking forward to the day we move back closer to the rest of our family, too.

I know from past experience what a powerful thing it will be to see you again tomorrow, and I'm really looking forward to the weekend with you. Hang in there, baby; I'll see you soon!

All my love,

Katie

Hump and Bump Day

It is the middle of the time of Katie being gone and I am missing her so much. Even though we are passing the hump, and we have a wonderful weekend to look forward to, it is no easier being apart. I am off tonight to help a friend of mine who just got in an accident drop off a car to Annapolis, Maryland, which may take up a bit of my time, and gladly so. It passes slowly at home, even though the cats run around crazily without their mom to keep them in step. It has been a bit bumpy for me and the kids, but we are going to make it. We just miss our favorite lady!

Wednesday: Halfway There!

Day 2 and More

Today was a harder day than yesterday, especially not waking up with Katie. You grow really used to that, and it hit me really hard at 5:00 this morning that I didn't have my best friend to groaningly get out of bed with. I miss you and cannot wait for your return!

I did have a good time this morning during my first day volunteering at the Embry Rucker Community Shelter. All I did was vacuum and wash windows, but it was nice to do some physical work. Everyone there is very nice, including the guy who I am doing tasks for. It really puts things into perspective seeing people and entire families who have almost nothing, and a shelter and a warm breakfast is really all they may have too look forward to. It is incredible to have so many things to rely on in my life, but it is so important seeing those who have far less. There are so many biblical passages in the New Testament (and some in the old) that tell you to give to those with less than you. It is for their good, the good of everyone, but it is hard to deny that it is for your good too. Seeing those in really needy conditions puts your problems into a different perspective. It does not make them go away, but it is truly one of the best therapies that you can have. I am really happy that Katie and I chose to get involved with this place, and I am looking to getting to know some of these people more.

So now I go home to our warm aparment, where there is dinner to make and very hungry kitties to feed. I have lots to be thankful for, but I can' help but be melancholy without Katie there. I love you and miss you my lady, but am glad you are having a great time!

September 16, 2007

A year ago today: we were very much in love with DC (a mere ten days before our burglary), good food, and each other. At least the second two haven't changed at all...

. . . but together in spirit.

When I was talking to Katie the other day, I had mentioned how if we had never gotten together, we would have never experienced so many incredible and powerful things. Some have been more difficult than we could imagine, but some have also been more incredible than we could ever fathom. And, I know that neither of us would trade any of this, because we would not be here without it, and I especially would not be the person I am this very minute without Katie.

It is going to be very hard to go home to an empty house tonight that, and not have someone to make dinner for. There are so many different kinds of people, and so many different kinds of marriage, but we are the type of people that really need each other, and want to be with each other all the time. When I was walking to work this morning, I noticed how nice it was outside, and wished Katie was there, in the simple setting of walking through Reston on my way to work, and I missed her.

But, in an incredible way, I knew that she was there. There is an undeniable connection that can and has been strained, but seems to be another thing beyond what we can fathom. No matter what, we will always be together, but I still miss her just the same.

I came across this nice quote that summarizes how I (we) feel:

"Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman."

1 Corinthians 11:11

I miss you and love you Katie. Come home soon!

Apart

Today marks the beginning of the first separation Matt and I have had since going through our rocky patch awhile back. Separation has never been easy for us, and I don't think it will be under these circumstances. Since we began putting even more effort into growing closer together every day, it makes it that much harder to do things like sleep apart and face the uncertainty of not knowing when we might be able to talk next. I know there are people who face much bigger, more serious separations--people who go to war or even those whose jobs just require more travel--and I don't know how they do it. I know that the moments in my day when I see Matt--waking up next to him, him walking through the door after work, or even just an unexpected phone call in the middle of the day--are such bursts of light to me, and it will be a hard week without them.

But I also know that we'll be constantly in each other's thoughts and hearts and prayers, and I know they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. If such a thing is indeed possible, all I can say about next Friday is: look out!

A Walk to Beautiful

Matt and I were looking forward to seeing this movie, but we had an even better time than we expected. The movie was well-done and heartbreaking, though ultimately uplifting. There were speakers there who had actually worked at the fistula hospital, and there was a prizewinning photo exhibit about the organization called Trail of Tears. Local Ethiopian restaurants had donated tons of food, and the Unitarian Universalist Church of Fairfax has a beautiful sanctuary, lined with old timbers and with huge, round windows that look out to the woods and sky beyond. We were touched by the movie and the stories told by people there, and I was struck by the poverty and despair faced by the women whose stories were told. It occurred to me for the millionth time that it isn't that the world lacks resources, it just lacks equitable distribution of them. Case in point: these women are dying for lack of a lifesaving Cesarean while, ironically, women in the United States have to fight for the eroding right NOT to have Cesareans that aren't medically indicated. In the same way that I sometimes wish we could box up all the wasted food from US tables and send it over to people who really need it, I wish we could mail them our extra Cesareans, too.

A little more background on obstetric fistula: the condition is caused when a woman or young girl (because they are often married between the ages of five and ten) goes into labor, but the baby is too big to successfully navigate the pelvis, most often because the girls are small, weak, and malnourished, with poorly developed bones. Eventually, the baby generally dies, and the pressure of the baby's head up against the pelvic bones erodes soft tissue between the birth canal and either the bladder or the rectum (or both), leaving a hole that results in the constant leakage of urine and/or feces. This makes them complete social outcasts in their community, and the vast majority of their husbands simply move in with someone else. Some girls eventually do give birth to the dead baby on their own; others describe finally getting to a hospital and having to have it removed "in pieces." Because of the advent of Cesarean--but, more importantly, the improvements in nutrition and the delay of childbearing past the childhood and very early teenage years--it's a condition that has disappeared from developed nations, and most doctors in those countries aren't even trained in how to repair them.

We were impressed by the work of the Fistula Foundation for many reasons, not the least of which because it helps train doctors from all over in how to successfully repair fistulas, and selects girls to be trained as local midwives(!), but also because it seizes on the convalescent period of the women after their surgeries to train the women themselves. They're often taught to read and write, they spend long hours in conversation with each other, and they help out however they can--helping clean the hospital or tend to other, newer patients. It's amazing to see the transformation from downtrodden to joyful, and it's amazing to think that aside from basic human decency, this isn't the product of any kind of psychotherapy--just the realization that they aren't alone in their problems, and that somebody in the world cares for them. Someone in the film also points out that these women would likely die before they would allow their daughters to be given away as child brides, making them agents of change in their communities. It is the hope of the Fistula Foundation that the condition will eventually be eradicated; the Fistula Hospitals would then become centers of prevention, well-equipped maternity hospitals where fistula could be prevented by providing necessary Cesareans.

I'm also continually amazed at the resilience and generosity of women who have themselves been so poorly mistreated. One of the women, 17-year-old Wubete (whose sweet face and childish voice make her seem half her age), had had several failed fistula surgeries already after a prolonged labor at 13 had left her with a dead baby and a constant urine leak, and refused to go back to her village, where she knew she would be an outcast and nobody would care for her. Instead, she went to work at Grace Village, and orphanage for children whose parents have died of AIDS. Rather than accept a life of begging and mistreatment, or end it herself prematurely, she chose to devote herself to others even less fortunate than she. Some of the final images of the film are of her shining face as she cares for orphaned children, and she exclaims happily, "I love them."

In other words, this is an organization that truly saves and changes lives. We're hoping to sponsor a couple of surgeries a year from here on out (each one costs just over $400, or $37.50 a month if you choose to spread it out over a year), in the hopes of giving these suffering women and grieving mothers a second chance at life.

Too Hot to Handle

The weather, that is. After a couple of lovely cool days, and lying in bed this morning noticing that some of the leaves outside had turned, and thinking happily that we just may be headed for fall, Matt and I were disappointed when we ventured outside this morning and the air was sticky, heavy, and already in the high 80's.

So our jog turned into sort of a half-run, half-walk down to the Farmer's Market and the bookstore and back. We were planning to run a couple of errands on bike, but at this rate we've decided to just hang out and keep cool, and get up to do them early tomorrow, before the weather gets too hot.

On the docket for this weekend:

-Clean up our adopted spot

-Clip and sort coupons (I'm way behind)

-Pack for Frontier

-Plan a menu and shopping list for cooking dinner at the homeless shelter next month
We've decided, at my mom's excellent suggestion, to make her tuna buns recipe, which was a surprisingly huge hit at our engagement party two years ago. It's easy, high in protein, and feeds a crowd for relatively cheap!

-Stop by the library, to return books and pick up more coupons!

-Return a swimsuit to Eddie Bauer
They had a great sale on their website, but they don't sell suits in the stores--though you can return them there, for free!--so I needed to order a couple of different sizes before I got it right. Now, I'm thrilled to death with this suit (and with getting it for half price!), which is basic and flattering and should last a long time. I've decided this past year that I am so done with cheap two-pieces, since I've owned so many and never been happy with them; they're never flattering, and I'm never in the sun enough to get a tan belly, so I just wind up hanging my pale one out there for all to see. No more!

-Grocery shop

-Make homemade lavender laundry soap

Tonight we're also going to a showing of A Walk to Beautiful, a documentary we've wanted to see for awhile which deals with the heartbreaking condition of obstetric fistula (incontinence of urine/feces due to birth injuries) in Africa, and a humanitarian organization's efforts to combat it. Check it out if you have a chance (you can rent it or watch it online at Netflix), or consider making a donation to the Fistula Hospital.

But because of the heat, today we're focusing on the indoor activities. Some couponing, some reading, some blogging; Matt's whittling, and we'll probably watch some Cosby show. Mostly, we're just enjoying the day. Things have felt so much lighter and easier between us in the past few days, like the heaviness of the past, which--though forgiven, not forgotten--has been a nearly constant part of our subconscious for the past few months, is finally lifting, and we're getting back into the groove of the relationship we thought we had, found out we didn't, but are getting closer and closer to every day.

Pesto and Cheese and S'Mores...Oh, My

Since I'm leaving for almost a week on Monday, and the weekends of September and October promise to be busy ones, Matt and I thought it appropriate to take some time for ourselves and have one of our private wine and cheese parties. Having recently been gifted with a Trader Joe's gift card, we promptly blew that and more stocking up on bread, cheese, the ingredients for pesto (since we haven't had room in the grocery budget lately for large quantities of walnuts, pine nuts, fresh basil, parmesan, and olive oil), fresh tomatoes and strawberries, and--in homage to the waning days of summer--the makings of deluxe s'mores: dark chocolate, cinnamon graham crackers, and Trader Joe's giant, pillowy handmade marshmallows. We also picked up a bottle of Polka Dot Reisling (affordable but yummy) for me and some beer for Matt. Here are some scenes from the evening:

Earlier in the day, Matt had perused the Redbox selections and reserved Love in the Time of Cholera, so for $1 and a trip to the grocery store we had our entertainment all set. When you consider that the mondo batch of pesto we made will last us awhile, and we'll be snacking and dining on bread and cheese throughout the weekend, our outlay was still probably less than we'd have spent on dinner and a movie out, and will last us considerably longer.

From Love in the Time of Cholera

We both really enjoyed the movie--the acting, the music, the costumes, and the storyline were all very captivating. While the plot had a few hollow moments, for the most part we were very entertained. Basically, the story (based on the book by Gabriel Garcia Marquez) is set in Columbia and is that of the young Florentino Ariza, who falls in love with the beautiful Fermina Daza the first time he sees her. The two exchange secret letters until he comes to her window one night and proposes marriage. While she is initially hesitant, her unmarried aunt pulls her aside and insists that she accept--"Or else you will always regret it. I know about such things!" Fermina does, but their happiness is short-lived because her cruel (and disturbing) father plans for Fermina to wait for a more advantageous marriage offer. He takes her away to live with relatives, including a cousin who is the accomplice to her continued contacts with Florentino.

The characters age and times change, and eventually Fermina comes back to town and Florentino approaches her in the marketplace. At that point, she tells him she has realized that what they had was an illusion. This is a little puzzling and no explanation is ever really given, so we are left to assume that perhaps she means what she says and was simply struck with this realization once she saw him again. (By this point, the charming actor who plays young Florentino has been replaced with a bizarrely dopey-looking middle-aged Florentino, but somehow I doubt that's why she does it.) She ends up marrying a wealthy doctor, of whom her father approves, and with whom it is difficult to tell whether she is ultimately happy or unhappy. Throughout their long marriage, Florentino finds consolation in two places: in the commiseration of his elderly mother (who appears to have been left pregnant and alone by Florentino's philandering father, leaving his brother--Florentino's uncle, a funeral singer--to provide for the boy and his mother), and, strangely, in sexual dalliances with over 600 other women.

This detail of promiscuous sexual encounters isn't overly lingered upon in the movie, and it seems sort of peculiar, but it's one I've found is not uncommon in South American writing: The style of Marquez (who has a more recent novella out called Memories of My Melancholy Whores), often referred to as magical realism, contains many hyperbolic and larger-than-life elements, including sexual ones. It remind me of the writing of Isabelle Allende, of Peru, whose writing is considered part of the same genre.

Marquez said of the couple that they were inspired by the love story of his own parents:

"The only difference is [my parents] married. And as soon as they were married, they were no longer interesting as literary figures."

The love of old people is based on a newspaper story about the death of two Americans, who were almost 80 years old, who met every year in Acapulco. They were out in a boat one day and were murdered by the boatman with his oars. García Márquez notes, “Through their death, the story of their secret romance became known. I was fascinated by them. They were each married to other people." [Wikipedia]

However, Florentino is always waiting for his chance with Fermina to come again, and it occurs when her husband dies, when they are all in their seventies. While she is initially offended by his opportunistic approach, eventually she is won over by his love.

A Year Ago Today...

we took one of our favorite East-Coast weekend trips to date: Philadelphia, New York City (for Farm Aid), and the Delaware Water Gap. While Farm Aid didn't pan out quite how we'd expected (though we had a great time), and NYC for its own sake isn't something we're aching to do again anytime soon, we are hoping to take one more trip out toward Philadelphia and the Delaware Water Gap before we leave. We've actually started a list of things to do before we leave the area, since that time now appears to be two years or less. Here's the rest of it so far:

In & around DC:
The National Geographic Museum
The Sewall-Belmont Museum
Spend another weekend in Berkeley Springs
The National Harbor
The National Aquarium in Baltimore
Explore some of the islands in the Chesapeake Bay area

The East Coast more generally:
Boston
Maine
Amish country in Pennsylvania

And I'm sure the list will grow longer with time. On the whole, though, we're super happy with the experiences and opportunities we've taken advantage of so far. The nice thing about moving to a place like DC from a place like the midwest is that we came into it very aware of and grateful for all there is to do here. I don't know of many locals who have ranged as far into the mountains or toward the ocean as we have, or who have taken the time to go see the military bands play, or made a point to explore all the state and national parks within a couple days' driving distance. There's a ton we'll miss when we move back to the midwest, but I don't think we'll leave with any regrets.

Just for Fun

Here's a throwback to one of the catchiest songs--and most nonsensical videos!--of the 1990s. Enjoy!

Some Good News out of the DC Birth World

Who'd have thought?

While this article is confusingly and poorly written, and they never actually mention the name of the center founded by Ruth Lubic (it's the DC Birth Center), it is nice to see a little attention paid to such a fantastic organization. Serving primarily low-income women, the DCBC has nonetheless managed to drastically improve the rates of prematurity and low-birthweight babies in impoverished areas of DC--areas where the statistics are traditionally much worse than in the rest of the country.

This article, from the Washington Post last year, does a MUCH better job of underscoring what a phenomenal women Lubic is, what an incredible institution she's founded, and, heartbreakingly, the dire straits it's facing as a result of unfairly skyrocketing insurance rates. Read it; it's worth your time.

Higher Expectations for Higher Education

An interesting opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal decries the college experience as largely useless for most courses of study, speaking favorably instead of a certification system--like that used for certified public accountants--which measures knowledge and skill rather than length of study or specific coursework.

Earlier in the summer I wrote that I believed apprenticeship or other similar systems were far more effective than our current institutions of higher education, and that for many people they were simply a waste of time and money. It's interesting to hear similar thoughts expressed in the WSJ.

This is especially intriguing given that ACOG has decided that its second most important legislative priority is to eliminate certified professional midwives. More important, say, than access to care for low-income women, more important than insurers who refuse to cover the Cesareans that the obstetricians are forcing them into. Corraling certified professional midwives who serve less than 1% of the population...good to know that obstetricians truly care for women, and have their priorities straight.

Monday: Arlington and the Pentagon

Yesterday was my parents' last full day in town. I ended up spending most of it alone with my mom, since the plans for the day (Arlington Cemetery and the Pentagon) struck my dad as a little too much running around. We missed him and Matt, but we also had a hilariously fun day together (the solemnity of the sites notwithstanding, of course).

Memorial at the Pentagon to those who died on 9/11/01. (The full-scale memorial is being opened and commemorated this Thursday)

My mom, doing a little dance in the subway

In front of Arlington Cemetery, with Arlington House in the background

The changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Amphitheater at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Arlington House, the Robert E. Lee Memorial

I didn't realize that the government seized the land for Arlington Cemetery from Lee and his family, and that it took a Supreme Court battle to even get the government to compensate them for it. Kind of reminds me of the history of Shenandoah National Park, in the way that the history is so totally at odds with what a beautiful place it is.

After my mom walked my legs into little bloody tired stumps,
we stopped at the Froggy Bottom Pub for a yummy and long-awaited lunch

After coming home to a dinner which my father had generously cooked, we polished off the evening with some frozen custard from Nielsen's and a visit from my old friend Hannah.