Merry Christmas!

photo by krisdecurtis

It's hard to believe we're already leaving Iowa tomorrow! We've had a wonderful time hanging out with family, seeing some old friends, eating at some of our favorite restaurants, and just enjoying being in such old familiar surroundings again. It's sad to see how much of the state is still devastated by the effects of the flood, and it's hard to get our minds around the fact that the music school (where we met, fell in love, and each spent many hours over the years) is unusable and may be slotted for demolition soon.

On a more positive note, though, here are few highlights of our gastronomic tour of Iowa:

Christmas dinner with my family! Despite a few mishaps by canines who shall remain unnamed, the amazing turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and cranberry cider and apple crisp and pumpkin roll more than made up for having to bust out the steam cleaner for the carpets a time or two.

Miguel's: a bar in Cedar Rapids that makes some of the best pizza I've ever had. They only take cash and they don't deliver, but it's oh so worth it.

Lou Henri's: our favorite Iowa City breakfast spot (which also serves lunch). Delicious eggs, pancakes, banana bread French toast, everything. Eclectic hippie college-girl waitresses and local art for sale on the walls.

India Cafe: a small, cozy Indian buffet that has a more limited selection than many of the northern Virginia mega-buffets, but still has the best naan we've had anywhere.

Tommy's Restaurant: a greasy spoon I never hit while I lived in Cedar Rapids, but which was the favorite hangout of one of the old men I knew when I worked in assisted living. He wasn't wrong: we enjoyed a huge, greasy, delicious breakfast for cheap (breakfast platters start at $3.99).

We wish we'd had time to hit:
Thai Spice: our favorite Thai restaurant, which makes (among other things) a mean yellow curry.

The Sanctuary: wonderfully cozy pub that has live music and a bar on one side, and a nonsmoking restaurant with fireplaces on the other. Delicious pizza and all kinds of other delicious late-night food, plus extensive cocktail and beer lists.

The Wedge: unbelievably delicious gourmet takeout pizza, unbelievably affordable, and generous with even the more expensive toppings (like pine nuts).

The Atlas: fresh, local food that's not necessarily health food (see the buffalo chicken wrap); the best tomato bisque I've ever had; and the world's most incredible mojitos. Not that I could have indulged...

On a less-than-fun note, our passenger-side window got stuck down on a 20-degree day, necessitating Matt's taking the door apart (in the cold) and running it up with a battery charger, McGyver-style. Very smooth. At least it happened when and where it did, and he was able to get the window up, and it looks like it will only cost around $40 to replace the switch.

Next, we're excited to drive up to Wisconsin and spend a few days with Matt's family! We feel incredibly lucky to have two such wonderful (and flexible) families to share the holidays with, and these are particularly special to us since they're our last ones to feel like "the kids"...this time next year, we'll be the parents!

We're Here!

Photo by sirwiseowl

After 18 hours in the car, two successful runs with my funnel-jar urinal, and many hours of Laura Ingalls Wilder audiobooks later, we rolled into Cedar Rapids at about 1am central time (2am to us). Despite dire warnings, the road conditions weren't terribly bad (though I can say that having done my half of the driving during the day, on dry roads, back east), and ultimately we're glad to have avoided what was sure to be a nightmarish scene at various airports. Now we're excited to be back in the midwest and spend some quality time with our families and friends!

Wrapping Up

photo by Aunt Owwee

I just submitted my last paper for the term, which feels wonderful. It's even a week early. All in all, my first term at Frontier was challenging, but very doable. I'm almost excited to start again in January...though not as excited as I am to have a couple of weeks off!

We had a good weekend, if slow-paced. My nausea is getting better, but I'm still very sleepy much of the time, and Matt is wonderfully understanding about that. We ran a few errands, worked out a couple of times (which is going well--we're really enjoying the Y), and otherwise took it easy. Yesterday we thought we'd save a few dollars by running out to Aldi's (about 45-50 minutes away, in Maryland) to pick up some staples. We ended up getting out there just after six, both believing them to be open until at least 7, when in fact they'd closed at five. So they'd been closed by the time we left Reston, and we ended up stopping at a Safeway instead--saving absolutely no money, driving almost 2 hours needlessly, to shop in a bad neighborhood in the dark at a chain we have in Reston. The icing on the cake was that by that point we were both too tired and hungry to feel like cooking, so we ended up going out to dinner! We only got pizza, which was delicious and $25 out the door, but it just goes to show you that our adventures in frugality certainly don't always go as planned!

We also splurged to rent The Dark Knight from Hollywood Video, because the Redbox was out. The verdict? A total waste of $5! We're considering upping our Netflix plan (currently 2-a-month for $3.99, which suits us just fine when we're out and about) for the winter, since Hollywood can be such a ripoff and we'll be spending more time indoors.

I work twice this week and otherwise plan to try to get us ready to head back to the midwest this weekend! We're incredibly excited to see all of our friends and family, and it should be an awesome trip!

Odds & Ends

It's Friday, and life here is good. This past week I worked Tuesday and Wednesday, and was supposed to work yesterday, but Wednesday was such a frustratingly crappy day that I fervently prayed before bed that they would call me off, because I didn't feel like my blood pressure could take another 12 hours of it. The good Lord must have agreed, because sure enough, despite what looked like a skeleton crew scheduled for Thursday morning, they called me at 5:30am and told me they didn't need me. Hallelujah!

I'd already finished up my Pathophysiology class, figuring the test was the easiest part of wrapping up the semester and then I could get down to concentrating on the two papers I had due. I actually managed to knock one out yesterday, and I'm embarrassed to admit how much I'm actually getting into the assignments I was purportedly dreading. The one I did yesterday was a health management plan for the primary care of an 18-year-old female patient. The goal of the assignment is to get us to look at ALL the screenings/tests that are currently recommended for patients by various organizations, and then figure out which are actually justified by what's called "evidence-based practice" (EBP), which is just what it sounds like. The opposite of CYA ("cover-your-ass") medicine, which is what's currently practiced by a majority of doctors today and involves ordering every test and procedure imaginable in a twin effort to line their own pockets and prevent being sued. EBP says that to order a test, you have to have a valid reason for it and the evidence has to show that the benefits of the test actually outweigh the risks. Surprise, surprise: many don't. Even old standbys, like the breast self-exam (BSE) we've all been made to feel guilty for not doing, get stamped with an "I" for "Insufficient evidence to recommend as helpful" by the US Preventive Services Task Force, which is like the gatekeeper of evidence-based medicine in the United States. EBP is a relatively new topic here, but it's huge in places like Britain, where a single-payer healthcare system means that the country has a vested interested in preventive services, but only to the extent that they actually prevent, detect, or treat disease.

On a very related note, the CEO of UnitedHealthcare New Jersey (a major insurance carrier) has published an 0p-ed in a NJ paper about the true costs of early elective C-sections. One of the most memorable (and chilling) quotes from the article:

It turns out that in an audit of all UnitedHealthcare-insured babies admitted to the NICU in one market, 48 percent of all newborns admitted to NICU were delivered by elective admission for delivery including scheduled C-sections (cesareans), many taking place before 39 weeks of pregnancy, or full term.

So almost HALF of babies in intensive care are there because their parents, or their parents' doctor, chose to induce labor or perform a Cesarean BEFORE TERM. Note that he specifies that this is ELECTIVE ADMISSION FOR DELIVERY--completing excluding medical reasons for C-section or labor induction. I always like to tell my patients "The fruit falls when it's ripe." Imagine that! Kind of reminds me of the butterfly story. (And of course, I give the caveat: Cesarean can be a lifesaving operation and I'm glad that it's available. My dear husband was born by such a Cesarean and clearly I would be lost without him. We're talking here about purely elective inductions/C-sections before term, done only for convenience reasons.)

Anyway, I had a couple of questions about that assignment and ended up calling one of my professors to ask them, and we ended up having a wonderful dialogue about EBP and the frustrations of working in the current healthcare system and it really made me feel glad to have found a school that's working so hard to produce efficient, thoughtful, and effective healthcare providers. It makes me feel proud to be a Frontier student and a future midwife.

Having wrapped up that assignment, I've moved on to my last class, in which we're slowly working our way through a proposal to open a midwifery practice in the state in which we'd like to practice. Hometown girl that I am, I chose Iowa, and while sifting through the various documents and regulations initially filled me with dread, I'm enjoying it in spite of myself. The assignment really gives credence to the idea that someday I am really going to do this (somewhere), and I'll be glad I did a lot of the legwork (figuratively speaking) when I was working part-time and only 10 weeks pregnant, as opposed to a fledgling midwife with a two-year-old (and who knows what else!). So, yeah--for anybody looking into midwifery (or nurse practitioner, for that matter) school, Frontier has really got its crap together.

So that's what I'm up to. This weekend should be a good one; we don't have anything major planned, but we should start packing and preparing to drive back to the midwest in a week! We can't wait!

Washington Not-So-Mutual

This past week I received a notice in the mail that a credit card I held with Washington Mutual had been closed. To quote the letter I received: "Because the account has not been used in 12 months, we assume that you no longer have need for it and have closed your account." Also, it was closed back in NOVEMBER, but they sent the notice out three weeks later. WTF?! No "If you'd like to keep it open, please do the following," or any kind of way out, just "We assume." Well, we know where that gets you!

This really burns me up because it was a card I kept for two reasons: emergencies, and also because it gave me free access to my credit score, something that's worth a considerable amount to me, especially after my laptop was stolen last year. I called to see if there was anything I could do to change it, and they said "No." So I told the customer service representative, "I know this isn't your fault and you're just doing your job, but I just want to let you know that as a loyal customer who always paid her bills on time and who kept that card for emergencies, to find out that all of a sudden I no longer have that card to rely on for emergencies, and I was given no say in the matter, is really offensive, and I hope you'll pass it on up that the customers find this to be a very shitty public-relations move. I won't be seeking another card with your company and I will recommend that others avoid it as well."

I doubt she will, and she didn't seem very concerned about my offended dignity, but at least I said my piece. And included the word "shitty" while I was at it.

Weekend Recap

It was a good weekend, though it went by too fast. I could blame that on the fact that I didn't roll out of bed until almost noon each day, courtesy of the fact that I lay sleepless until 3am both nights, compliments of having worked nights last week--but time also flies when you're having fun.

We didn't do anything exceptional, because I've been way too sleepy for that, but we did hang out and enjoy each other's company, watch the remainder of the Planet Earth series, go to the Y for the first time (!), and also make a big pot of chili last night. We started out with our basic recipe, but added jalapenos and cubano peppers, as well as a pound of ground buffalo. Why buffalo? Because it was cheaper than anything else, and is supposed to be pretty good for you, too. It turned out delicious, especially with plenty of cheese, sour cream, and crushed crackers. So good, in fact, that we each ate a huge bowl, got up to do other things, and then came back and each ate another bowl about 20 minutes later. After that, we cleaned out the fridge (or rather, Matt cleaned out the fridge while I stood back and tried not to gag--not that there was anything particularly terrible in there but it still doesn't take much) and tidied up the kitchen and bathroom before deciding that was enough to make the apartment "feel" clean. Then it was off to bed, to try to salvage some semblance of a normal schedule on which to start the week.

Today, my goals are simple: get some schoolwork done, and not fall asleep! Easier said than done in the energy-sapping weeks of the first trimester. All in all, though, I'm feeling much much better, and should soon be getting on to the fun parts of pregnancy.

On the schoolwork front, I did take a test already today, closing out Pathophysiology for the semester and leaving me with just two papers left for the term. Those are both due a week from Friday, which should theoretically leave me plenty of time if I can keep my shoulder to the wheel and just keep working.

Y Not?

We've decided to join a gym.

This is something we've never done in our life together as a couple, always preferring to utilize the many forms of free exercise out there, especially ones that doubled as transportation. And when we lived in Iowa City, we qualified (as students/employees) to work out for free at one of the gyms there. We didn't do it often, but it got us through the winter months leading up to the summer we got married.

Now, however, neither of our jobs (nor my school, which is located in Kentucky) offers workout facilities. I've accepted that it's impractical and unsafe (not to mention gravely unappealing) for me to walk or ride a mile and a half to and from work in the pitch black, which it inevitably is, regardless of which shift I work. Matt still walks to work pretty often, but that doesn't do much for me--and Matt's not the one facing an unavoidably and extensively expanding midline in the coming months, either :)

So, given the fact that health and fitness are really important to us, and we also feel like it's a priority to have activities we can do together, we've decided to join a gym. Specifically, the YMCA. Here are a few of the other perks we're excited about:

-Access to a pool and a hot tub
-A variety of classes, including yoga and aerobics and several prenatal workout classes
-The fact that the YMCA is not just a well-furnished and relatively inexpensive workout facility, but also a force of good in the community

I get 10% off my membership for working at the hospital, and a "family membership" (for any more than 1 person) is $104 a month. So we're looking at around $90 for unlimited classes and workouts for both of us, which seems pretty reasonable. At this point, we're planning to join mainly through the winter months, and then see if we want to keep it going through spring and summer, though my hunch is that we'll go back to outdoor walking and swimming by summertime. We're looking forward to getting started!

Making a Good Thing Even Better

It's hard to improve on perfection, but I decided to try. Feeling the desire to make our standby cookies a little bit more nutritionally sound, I decided to try replacing half the butter with peanut butter, to boost the protein and fiber content. We also were out of oatmeal, so I used oat bran. They turned out great--big and chewy, though for some reason the dough seemed bent on trying to spit out the chocolate chips while they baked. Whatever. Looking back through the archives, I realize they're now more like these cookies, which we also enjoyed.

What's New Here?

Not much. I'm on the home stretch in my classes, but even that is feeling like a marathon when all I feel like doing is sleeping all day. But at least the nausea is gone (for now), and this too, I suppose, shall pass.

This morning we got free bagel breakfast sandwiches courtesy of the Einstein Bros. e-club. And it only says one per customer per visit, so if we wanted to, I think we could get them every morning until they expire in 12/7. Now, we happen to be MUCH bigger fans of Bruegger's (if I had a nickel for every night shift that ended in a warm egg-and-jalapeno-cream-cheese-bagel sandwich, I'd have a big stack of nickels), but free is free, so we weren't complaining.

The only thing I WILL complain about is that it seems like every time I order something at a bagel shop, they act like I'm crazy. "Can I get an egg and cheese bagel, but instead of the cheddar, can I just get cream cheese?" "So you want cheddar AND cream cheese?" NO, hence the clever use of the word "INSTEAD"?! ...And, of course, then it comes with cheddar on it anyway. You face the same thing down at the cash register: "I got an egg and cheese." "But wait, I saw them put cream cheese on this..." "Yes, instead of the cheese." "So you got two kinds of cheese?" PEOPLE! THEY'RE BAGELS AND CREAM CHEESE! PLUS EGGS! To be fair, I used to face the exact same weirdness at Bruegger's. I don't know why it's such a difficult request!

Happy Restonversary to Us!

The end of November marks a year that we've lived in Reston--which is the longest we've ever lived anywhere: we lived at our place in Iowa City for 10 months together, the DC apartment only 4. We've weathered more challenges here in the past year than we ever could have foreseen, but we've also packed this place with more wonderful memories than I could have imagined.

And what better way to celebrate such longevity and stability than by starting a family here?

Planet Earth

We've spent the week lying pretty low, as I've felt pretty terrible. Luckily, Matt has had the week off, and I've had most of it off, although I work overnight again tonight and tomorrow. But we've spent some lovely, lazy, cozy hours on the couch this week--most memorably, watching the Planet Earth series which we borrowed from some friends.

If you haven't seen this, we would highly, highly recommend it. The footage is stunning and also highly entertaining, and the soundtrack (composed for the series by British composer George Fenton) is breathtaking as well. For anybody who loves nature or music, but especially both, it's an experience you don't want to miss.

Deviled Eggs

Recently, we made these deviled eggs to take to a party. They were a big hit and gone in about 15 minutes, and didn't call for anything wacky that we didn't already have in the fridge, so they were a hit with us too. Mind you, peeling hardboiled eggs is always cause for a lot of swearing (no matter how not-fresh our eggs are, or any of the other little tricks we use, it's never anything but a messy pain in the butt), and honestly we had thought they almost looked a little too raggedy to take out in public, but it's amazing what a sprinkle of paprika does to punch up the contrast and cover a multitude of sins. I certainly get why they use that...it really dresses these babies up to the next level.

Making deviled eggs always reminds me of last summer, when I'd gotten a taste for a batch and decided to make them for Matt and me. I was happily mashing away when Matt walked over and said tactfully "Oh, um, where are the whites?" He KNEW where the whites were...mashed in with the yolks...I think he was just too kind to say so.

So the first time we made deviled eggs together, it was really egg salad, but it was good nonetheless.

Knitting Knews

Not only has this turned into this, courtesy of the world's fastest-learning knitter...
...but now, in the space of one evening, we've got this:

Which, as you can see, looks good on just about everybody. But technically, it's for the baby.

And I even helped a little: I made the pompom.

Thanksgiving Bounty

Being sick as a dog that day, all I had was a little scoop of corn and a few mashed potatoes, but the food looked and smelled delicious and was greatly enjoyed by Matt and our guest. Matt kindly cooked the entire meal, cleaned up after it, and also cleaned the apartment from top to bottom before we had someone over to dinner...while my contribution was lying on the couch, moaning and trying not to throw up. Well, and creating human life...all before a busy 12-hour overnight shift.

Better-Than-Stuffing Bread Pudding

Since I've been feeling like crap lately, it's taken me awhile to get this recipe up. But here goes.

This recipe was given to Matt by a friend, and appears to have been photocopied from a magazine or a cookbook, but we don't know which one. We'd be happy to give credit where it's due if anyone knows where that is. Pictured is a double batch.

Better-Than-Stuffing Bread Pudding

Ingredients:
2 Tbsp olive oil
6 oz shiitake mushrooms
6 oz portobello mushrooms
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp dried sage
1 Tbsp fresh basil or 1 tsp dried basil
1 Tbsp fresh thyme or 1 tsp dried thyme
1 Tbsp fresh parsley
5 eggs
2 cups whipping cream
1 cup milk
1/4 cup grated Parmesan
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
6 cups French bread cut into 1-inch pieces
1 Tbsp grated Parmesan

1. Lightly butter an 8x8 baking dish.
2. In a heavy saucepan, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add mushrooms, garlic, and sage. If you're using dried basil and thyme, add now. Cook over medium-high heat about 15 minutes or until mushrooms are tender and browned. Remove from heat. If using fresh basil and thyme, add now with the fresh parsley.
3. In a large bowl, whisk eggs, cream, milk, 1/4 cup Parmesan, salt, and pepper. Add bread pieces, toss to coat, and let sit 15 minutes.
4. Stir mushroom mixture into bread mixture; transfer to the baking dish. Sprinkle with remaining Parmesan.
5. Bake at 350 for about 1 hour, or until browned and puffed and center is set. Makes 6-8 servings.

Thanksgiving Prep

Today we shopped most of the day, and this evening we've been cooking up a storm.

For Thanksgiving, we're having a friend of ours over, and the menu is as follows:

Mushroom Bread Pudding (recipe to follow; it's in the fridge to be cooked tomorrow, and the recipe is typed, awaiting only a picture of the finished product)
Mashed Potatoes (we make them a lot like this)
Pumpkin Dinner Rolls
Green Bean Casserole with homemade French-Fried Onions
Corn Niblets (you know, heat and add butter)
Roasted Asparagus
Pumpkin Roll
Sparkling Apple Cider

We started with the french-fried onions, because we'd never made them before and they sounded like fun. Well, they were, and the next thing we knew, we decided to cut up another onion and make onion rings.

Then, "when-you-give-a-mouse-a-cookie"-style (or what my dad would call "a terminal case of the while-you're-at-its") we decided to make a few french fries, too.
And of course, fried foods just aren't any good if you don't have ranch dressing to dip them into. So we made some of that, too. And it turned out great!

Here are some shots of the pumpkin roll:

Combining the cake ingredientsGreasing and flouring a piece of parchment paper for the bottom of a 10x15" jelly-roll pan
Bake 15-20 minutes until done


Roll up in a clean kitchen towel and let cool

Unroll and spread with cream cheese frosting

Roll back up, dust with powdered sugar, and slice off the endsI wish the color were a little more vibrant, but in my experience, that's just what you get with fresh vs canned pumpkin (I seem to remember reading at one point that some of what's in canned "pumpkin" is actually yams?). The flavor was just fine and besides, I'd eat a dog turd if it was rolled up with cream cheese frosting, and this has that beat by a long shot anyway.

Back and Disoriented

After taking a redeye Monday night, crossing three time zones, getting back to DC around 11 and sleeping until 5pm, we woke up to find it dark and ourselves utterly disoriented.

Some of this is intentional on our parts, since I work nights this week and Matt is off and so he's kind enough to flip his schedule with me.

We'd had high hopes for running errands yesterday, but that didn't happen, so today: grocery shopping, post office, and a few other odds and ends. We're also going to come home and cook for our Thanksgiving and day-after-Thanksgiving celebrations. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on being able to tolerate that one.

Otherwise, not much new to report. We're incredibly happy to be home, and have strengthened our resolve to avoid non-essential travel as much as is humanly possible in the future--though we're very much looking forward to heading "home" for the holidays in less than a month!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!

photo by Princessrica

Happy birthday to the woman who gave me life! I love you, Mom!

The Storm is Gathering...

Coast to coast! To have homebirth-positive (and midwife-positive) full-length stories in two major newspapers within days of each other is incredibly, unbelievably exciting. I particularly like the way the SF Gate took the opportunity to point out the safety of homebirth as evidenced by major studies (on the whole, it's a stronger, more positive article than the NY Times one--but at the very least, check out the NY Times slideshow, which has some stunningly beautiful photographs). Oftentimes, the best we'll get is "Midwives claim homebirth is safe." Yes, we do, but where do we get that position? Data!

And, it's great to hear an ACOG member do what they do best: unabashedly lie to women. Here's a quote from the article, with my responses in brackets and italics:

"ACOG doesn't formally oppose home birthing but our position definitely implies that," says Dr. Erin Tracy, an ob-gyn at Massachusetts General Hospital and vice chair of ACOG Massachusetts. [Their position? "The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) reiterates its long-standing opposition to home births." Uh, yeah, that's a pretty FORMAL OPPOSITION there...no "implication" about it."] "No one at ACOG is advocating for criminalizing home birthing." [Right, you're instead seeking it through the AMA: "RESOLVED, That our AMA develop model legislation in support of the concept that the safest setting for labor, delivery, and the immediate post-partum period is in the hospital, or a birthing center within a hospital complex"] "We just personally think it's much safer to give birth in a hospital or at a birthing center."

"We just personally think"?! This is the professional organization for the almighty American OB-GYN, and their basis for denying women what could be their safest and most satisfying birth experience (not to mention a cost-effective one for the nation) is based not on science, not on medicine, not on personal freedom or autonomy even, but on...."We just personally think?!"

Here's what else they think: "For women who choose a midwife to help deliver their baby, it is critical that they choose only ACNM-certified or AMCB-certified midwives that collaborate with a physician to deliver their baby in a hospital, hospital-based birthing center, or properly accredited freestanding birth center."

Hmmm...the only good midwife is midwife that delivers in the hospital, under the thumb of a doctor...even though the studies have shown that this isn't necessary for the safety of low-risk women. So... why do you think they "think" that?

I'll tell you why: because they the way they manage birth in the hospitals is all about convenience and money, and women are growing wise to that. And they're demanding better for themselves and their babies.

We're Here!

Deja vu. Anyway, travel was safe and uneventful, thankfully; we got here yesterday about noon local time (three o'clock our time) and Matt quickly settled down to work and I just...settled down. For a long nap. (I won't say that being pregnant has made me more tired than usual, it's just given me an excuse to indulge myself.) Today, I'm hoping to actually get some schoolwork done. The hotel we're staying at this time doesn't have free Wi-Fi, so I may not be updating very often, but on the other hand--there's just not a lot to tell.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT AND MARY!

Photo by Cvalentine

Twenty-seven years ago today, my mother-in-law gave birth to my husband--on her birthday!

Happy birthday to two of my favorite people in the whole world.

Pumpkin Pancakes

I guess at some point, I have to make a return to our regularly scheduled programming. So here goes.

This morning for breakfast we made pumpkin pancakes. You might remember that we recently came into a wealth of free pumpkin, and we thought this would be a cozy and delicious way to use some of it up. And we were right. Here's how we made them:

Pumpkin Pancakes

Ingredients:

• 2 cups whole-wheat flour
• 3 tablespoons brown sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 1 cup fresh pumpkin puree
• 1 egg
• 2 tablespoons melted butter
  
• 2 tablespoons vinegar

Directions:
1. Combine dry ingredients.
2. Combine wet ingredients.
3. Combine wet and dry ingredients.
4. Cook on a hot griddle until browned on both sides. 5. Serve with butter and syrup (we used leftover Vanilla-Brown Sugar Syrup, which worked beautifully).

Delicious!

Life Goes On

But we're still very, very sad. Matt and I both find ourselves haunted by the situation with Mark, and I alternate between a kind of numb disbelief and just bursting into tears. Whereas when it first happened, I was struck and particularly affected by the gruesome nature of the incident itself, I now seem to have moved toward a saddened remembering. I think about all the wonderful, happy memories I had with Mark (12 years worth...) and I just wish so badly that things had turned out differently.

Someone asked if I could post some of the fairer media articles about the incident, and I'm happy to oblige. Probably the most balanced one I've seen is the article "Accusations and Suicides" from the publication Inside Higher Education. Here's the piece I feel is missing from the reporting that's going on in Iowa"

Asked what the university should do following this latest incident, [Iowa Faculty Senate President Michael] O’Hara said that “we have to separate the issue of sexual harassment from the issue of why a professor or anybody for that matter would commit suicide in the face of kind of public disclosure of something that is personally extremely embarrassing if not humiliating. Those are two different issues — people face criminal charges all the time and don’t commit suicide. It’s not an inevitable consequence.” [My note: Also, these were actually only civil charges, meaning there was no possibility of jail time, just financial penalties and possible professional sanctions]

O’Hara added: “We have to continue on campus to educate ourselves and to be vigilant about sexual harassment and help everyone understand that as an academic community, these things aren’t to be tolerated.” At the same time, he said that the two deaths made him wonder about the treatment of “alleged perpetrators.” It is important to remember, he said, that “being accused doesn’t mean that something happened.”

I thought Michael O'Hara did a wonderful job of emphasizing that a case like this--even prior to Mark's suicide--requires sensitivity to all parties involved, rather than being a time to choose sides, whitewashing one while villifying the other. From what I've seen in the media and from comments by UI faculty, it seems everyone else is bent on saying that the charges are false, and the newspapers are more than willing to propagate that message, which is really too bad. Here's hoping O'Hara's recommendations are taken up by the rest of the faculty and students at Iowa.

Goodbye, Dear Friend

We found out late last night that Mark Weiger, my former oboe professor at the University of Iowa, and teacher, mentor, and friend for 12 years, took his own life yesterday in Iowa City.

Mark started teaching me when I was 13 and saw me through some of the most difficult periods of my life. He was an inspiration to me musically, as probably the finest musician I've ever heard, and also personally--he was funny, cheerful, brilliant, and amazingly well-traveled. He was also unfailingly kind to me and my family. He was one of my oldest and closest friends. And he was the one who introduced me to Matt.

Even when my interests changed from music to nursing to law, and then back to midwifery, I knew that I could count on him for unflagging support and glowing recommendations. I have so many happy memories with him--the hours and hours we spent laughing and playing duets in lessons, the summer we traveled to music camp in Wyoming, the reams of emails we sent back and forth while I was at Interlochen and he served as my long-distance teacher, even though he was on sabbatical. His list of accomplishments was long and impressive, but that didn't stop him from taking in interest in whatever I was doing. When I started with him, I didn't realize what a superstar he truly was, but it became evident to me as the years passed, and I was honored to think of him as a mentor.

Mark's death has shocked and devastated me and Matt and my family. We all counted him as a dear friend, and somebody who had everything in the world going for him. It's tragic to think of how lonely his last hours must have been, and likely some portion of the past year or so of his life.

But Mark wasn't perfect. He overstepped the boundaries somewhat regularly and you'll notice in the article that he had just been charged with sexual harassment by a former student. You'll also notice that he admitted to the charges (though few articles that have come out actually note this). We also consider ourselves close friends of the student who brought the suit, and can say with certainty that there was no cruelty or malice or fabrication behind what she said. There are already a number of unkind comments about her cropping up in articles about the incident, and it's unfortunately a sad fact that we've seen played out many times that in any kind of "he said/she said" case, whether rape or sexual harassment, the public is wont to believe "what he said." When really, what she said--that students have the right to an environment where they don't feel belittled or threatened or judged--is right and true, and it takes incredible courage to say it so publicly. Unfortunately, she has been re-victimized by this situation more than anybody else. She's in our prayers as she begins what will undoubtedly be an impossibly difficult time for her.

Former UI colleagues of Mark's have already come out as saying the allegations are "vicious" and patently false, which I think is incredibly irresponsible of them. Melissa doesn't have a vicious bone in her body, and to imply that somebody would put themselves and someone they previously held in such high esteem through the pain of a lawsuit, just out of pure meanness, is a gross oversimplification. I appreciate their desire to protect him, and recognize it is their grief talking, but the real picture of who Mark was is more complex than a martyr who couldn't bear the lies brought against him. Admitting that he made mistakes in his life doesn't mean we loved him any less. Mark was very, very real; therefore, like all of us, he was imperfect. We knew that. He knew that. And we loved him very much.

We just wish he were still here and we could tell him so. Mark, we can't understand what you did, but we'll miss you so very, very much.

Step Into My World

I'm sitting on the couch in our (chilly) apartment, snuggling with a warm cat under a down comforter, feet on a heating pad, space heater running nearby, trying my best to frantically take notes and study for a test I'm hoping to take--today. After I submit the paper that's due.

The kitchen is full, not just of breakfast dishes but also of the remains of the hacked and cooked pumpkin (it took overnight baking on 200 degrees to to sufficiently soften up that sucker!), some of which has been pureed to a yellow sauce, but some of which is still in the Cuisinart, or the funnel, or all over the counter. I don't have time to think about that right now.

In our living room are boxes and boxes of CDs waiting to be sold or given away, a jogging stroller, an exercise ball, a basket or two of laundry, and stacks and stacks of library books. All testaments to our plans and good intentions that right now are being placed on the back burner.

Things have been heating up for Matt at work, and I've been working pretty close to full-time in addition to juggling my classes and feeling a little bit sub-par to boot. So things are slipping a little bit, but on the whole, we're still doing well. Everybody is happy and clothed and fed (pictured below: today's lunch, a mug of leftover homemade tomato soup swirled with some of the last of the summer pesto), and in times like these, those are our priorities.

It will certainly be interesting to add a baby into this mix.

Jack (O'Lantern) Pot!

Matt and I have been talking for awhile about getting a pumpkin and cooking it up for pie and pumpkin bread and such. As the budget's been a little tight, we held off, and boy, are we glad we did: tonight, courtesy of FreeCycle, we became the proud parents of 38 pounds of pumpkin, thanks to someone who had the same thought we did but bit off a little more than she could chew. We're going to start roasting and pureeing it tonight, but it will probably take us a couple of evenings to finish.

Sunday Drive

Today was the first day I've felt pretty queasy for most of the day, so instead of revisiting the Little Devil's Stairs like we were hoping to, we ended up just taking a little drive out to enjoy the countryside, with me sucking down ginger ale and ginger candies like they were going out of style. I'm now feeling much better (pizza with pesto, pine nuts, mushrooms, and onions for dinner did the trick!), and after an evening job through Reston, we're in for the night. Matt is kindly editing a paper of mine, while I'm doing the same for my sister. (Having learned back while I was writing essays for law school that I "can't take constructive criticism," as my mom would say, Matt refers to what he's doing as "making gentle suggestions as to how to improve on perfection." Love this guy.) Here are some scenes from the day: